Here it is, the finale of Celebrity Rap Superstar
. Who will win? Shar Jackson
, who has rocked the mic each and every week, winning tons of praise from the judges? Or Kendra Wilkinson
, the pretty girlfriend of Hugh Hefner who can't sing a lick, but whose milkshake can bring all the boys (and even some of the girls) to the yard?
After a lengthy recap of the season, Kevin Hart
introduces all the eliminated contestants and their mentors. In an hour-long results show, that was an easy way to kill five minutes. We'll get a performance that features all the contestants and mentors. Shar and Kendra have teamed up to sing "It Takes Two." It's a pretty nice duet, and Kendra pulls her weight.
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First up, the male contestants perform together. Not surprisingly, Jason Wahler
does show up to the rehearsal. Maybe his cell phone died again. Efren Ramirez
, Jamal Anderson
and Jason Wahler sing "Shake Ya Tailfeather." Well, Efren and Jamal try to sing, while Jason wanders around the stage and doesn't sing a single line. Sebastian Bach
gets the solo "Slam," because the producers know it would be cruel to force him to sing with those three other talentless losers. It rocks, and Efren jumps in at the last minute for a harmonica assist.
The girls are up next, and not surprisingly, Perez Hilton
is joining them. They take on the Sal-n-Pepa anthem "Whatta Man." The three real chicks come out to start off, and it's good for the first two-thirds. I like the pper, but not the salt, if you get my drift. Perez comes out at the end and does his normal schtick. K-Hart makes a gay joke, and Perez gives it right back.
Finally, the mentors have a little "Rapper's Delight." It's eight professional rappers teaming up for a rap classic, so of course it's pretty cool.
The two finalists each look back and pick their own favorite performance for an encore. Kendra and Too Short
are proud of all the progress she's made. As payback for his mentoring, she performs his "Blow the Whistle" again. It's a very bouncy performance, and by bouncy, I mean her breasts, and by her breasts, I mean those things Hef bought for her. The old man is actually in the audience and gives her a standing ovation, as he will try to do again later tonight, with the help of some little blue pills.
Next is Shar, and it's a montage of why she should and will win, because she brought it from night one all the way to last week. She does Missy Elliott's "Get Ur Freak On." She, of course, murders it. The impressive part is that her moves are sweet, and for the first time, she rivals Kendra in the jiggly department.
Finally, it's the moment of truth. First, K-Hart asks the judges' opinions. Shar is the best, and Kendra is most improved. The winner is...Shar Jackson. Duh. She is the Celebrity Rap Superstar
. So after all this, the right person actually won. Good for the voters. And great for whoever was the audience member who made the "Gimme, Gimme More...Shar" poster. Hilarious.
Well, that does it for Celebrity Rap Superstar
. There were some good times, some great rhymes, and a whole lot of Kendra's booty. That's a winning recipe in my book, and I really hope MTV does a second season. Wow, I never thought I'd say that when this show started.
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of MTV)