Beauty and the Beast: Cavemen
Beauty and the Beast: Cavemen
In BuddyTV’s 2007 Fall TV Guide, we stared at countless photographs of the new show casts to determine which were most pleasing to the eye (the “Beauties”) and which weren’t so pleasant (the “Beasts”). In the end, we settle on Private Practice, Cane and Gossip Girl as having the hottest casts, while Cavemen, Dirty Sexy Money and Back to You all came up short in the looks department.

I wouldn't call myself a picky girl. I've dated lots of different kinds of men over the years with very different styles. I've dated the preppy guy who shopped at Eddie Bauer and Banana Republic. I've let the businessman take me out in his three-piece suits. I've had boyfriends who are clean-shaven, had a full beard, and some with a 5 o'clock shadow. I even once spent time with a guy who wore pants so low, I should have bought him stock in a suspenders company. I'm not sure what I was thinking. It was college. However, I draw the line of interest in the opposite sex at cavemen.

On the new ABC sitcom Cavemen airing this fall, Bill English, Sam Huntington, and Nick Kroll play three prehistoric brothers who have just moved to San Diego. They attempt to fit in with the rest of the homo sapiens world but not surprisingly, we homo sapiens aren't that welcoming. Surprisingly, Joel (English) lands a hot Southern girl (Kaitlin Doubleday) and I'd love to know what qualities she finds attractive in him. Perhaps she's a rebellious girl and dates the kind of guy our parents would lock us away from. The three brothers work to dispel the myths and misconceptions that follow them in today's society.

They can try to package themselves any way they want but the bottom line is, cavemen just aren't good looking. First of all, the three brothers need some haircuts. Might I suggest a crossover episode with Queer Eye for the Straight Caveguy? Carson will fix those three up in a snap! While the Fab 5 are at it, they can get the cavemen a new wardrobe. A trip to Barney's wouldn't kill anybody. Maybe Dr. 90210 could fix their serious overbite problem. If they don't have the cash, might I suggest sending in a sob story video to Extreme Makeover? After all, it is the same network.

Here's the bottom line. These cavemen can do all they want to try to show me that they're just like every other guy I've dated. I have bad news for them, they're not. I don't want to have a candlelit dinner by watching Nick or Andy rub two sticks together quickly for an hour. I don't want to eat a giant hunk of meat without using silverware and I certainly don't want to be dragged back by the hair to their cave for a night of romance, or lack thereof. Sorry, cavemen, if I'm looking for a hot Neanderthal, I'll go with Lost's Josh Holloway.

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See the other "Beast" winners Back to You and Dirty Sexy Money. You can also see the casts that were the hottest: Private Practice, Gossip Girl and Cane. Comment and tell us what you think.

- Gina Scarpa, BuddyTV
(Image courtesy of ABC)