'Big Brother 14' Recap: Lemons, Limes and Sex Dreams
'Big Brother 14' Recap: Lemons, Limes and Sex Dreams
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
It's a good thing that this Sunday's episode of Big Brother 14 is on against the Closing Ceremony of the London 2012 Olympics, because it's so boring that fans who skip it aren't going to miss much. Frank is the HoH, Joe is on the outs with everyone and Wil is generally untrustworthy. Throw in a whole lot filler with lemon squeezing and sex dreams and you have a pretty pointless episode of Big Brother 14.


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After Janelle's Eviction

Joe is all alone and scared, as well he should be. Britney cries about sending Janelle home, which is just kind of annoying. And Danielle and Dan are just hoping that the Silent Six alliance they formed with Frank and Boogie will hold up.

After winning HoH Frank briefly considers nominating Dan to make him sweat since he was going to blindside Frank two weeks ago (umm, Dan was still a COACH back then, and Danielle, Shane and Britney were ALSO involved in the blindsiding plan, as was everyone on Janelle's team, but whatever). Boogie quickly shuts it down because turning on the Silent Six so quickly is just a bad move, even if it's just for appearances.

Frank's HoH Room

Wil thinks old-school Frank with blond hair was hot because he looked like Dennis Quaid. Hey, Dennis Quaid is starring on the new CBS drama Vegas! And Ian thinks Frank's NASA hat makes him the coolest person ever.

Sex Dreams and More Filler

You know the editors are scraping the bottom of the barrel when we get an entire segment about Frank's sex dream starring JoJo, followed by Shane and Ian drooling over Kara. There's also some silly, embarrassing nonsense with Shane and Danielle where he plays hard to get (note: He's NOT playing) and she's pining over him like he's Tom Daley and she's a 14-year-old British girl.

If that's not enough, there are two more filler segments. Boogie figures out that Danielle is actually a nurse (duh) and Boogie breaks a pool basketball hoop. No wonder they need to bring the Zingbot back so early (he's a part of this Wednesday's Power of Veto competition), because this season is getting hella boring if this is the best they have to offer.

The Have/Have-Not Competition

Ashley's back hurts, so Frank plays for her. There are two teams decided by a fierce bandana fight, and it's thoroughly unfair. The lime team has Frank, Ian, Wil, Boogie and Dan. The lemon side has Shane, Danielle, Britney, Joe and Jenn. I don't care what the competition is, it's obvious what side will win, and it's NOT the side with Joe.

It's just like the Space Cow competition from last season where the HGs must soak up water in their lemon and lime outfits and squeeze it out into jugs. The lime team plays smart by also gathering liquid in their mouths and spitting it into the jars.

There's plenty of gratuitous slo-mo sexual references as dudes hop on top of dudes, but the best part goes to Shane and Danielle, who squeeze each other tight in a very aggressive, humping motion.

The lime team wins, so Britney, Danielle, Joe and Shane are the Have-Nots who also get candy canes and cod. It sounds pretty good and Britney is happy, but Danielle HATES fish.

Nominations

Joe may have been the only vote against Frank, but he has no one, which is a good selling point for people keeping him (see: Dan's winning strategy from season 10). He also throws Wil under the bus as hard as is humanly possible, which is smart because he knows Wil is probably the only other potential target this week.

Wil comes up to talk to Frank and Boogie, and he just tells them that it's OK if they nominate him. He also refuses to say who he'd nominate next week while speculating that there's a large alliance in the house. Wow, Wil just made himself the real target.

Then Frank once again brings up his desire to get Dan out, if the opportunity arises. I get it because Dan is obviously going to win this game again, but Boogie is right to shut him down. If they go after Dan, then no one will EVER trust them and they will become the two biggest targets in the game. It's too early to make that kind of move, and it's a move you only make when you are sure you can get it done, because otherwise you're poking a hornet's nest.

In the end Frank does exactly what everyone thought he was going to do and nominates Joe and Wil.


See Who Won the Power of Veto>>


(Image courtesy of CBS)