'The Amazing Race' Recap: Stacks of Green
'The Amazing Race' Recap: Stacks of Green
On this week's episode of The Amazing Race, the teams travel to Paraguay to continue their race around the world. Nearly every team left has big troubles on their way to the pit stop.

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Stand By Me

As another night turns into day, the remaining nine teams get their clues and head to the airport. They need to fly to Asuncion, Paraguay. Normally, this part of the show means that all the teams will meet up together and land at the same time. Instead of finding the next available open flight, the first teams to arrive put their names on a stand-by list for a flight that leaves at 8:30am.

As more teams arrive, they all add their names to that stand-by list, and it soon becomes apparent that only a few, if any teams, will get tickets. Those teams are Border Patrol, Army, Kentucky, and the Female Feds. The rest of the teams are forced to fly together at a flight that leaves at 10:40am.

The first flight lands, and the teams grab taxis and head to the world's least safe playground. Inside, they must slide down a slide and look through scraps of metal and large scattered grills to find their next clue. Border Patrol is first, and the reveal is that there are two choices for this detour. One is called Stacked Up, and involves stacking a couple hundred watermelons into a pyramid. The second choice is called Strung Out, and that requires teams to restring a harp.

To me, the choice is easy. Restringing an instrument sounds a lot easier than stacking a bunch of round objects. But it doesn't matter what I think as every team, including the second flight, picks to do stacking besides the twins. Let's see if they made the right choice.

Early Struggles

The first four teams on the first flight all arrive to start stacking melons. Clearly, melon stacking is a part of training for becoming a border patrol agent, because Art and JJ finish with no troubles at all. As they go to retrieve their next clue, every other team starts to realize the perils of watermelon stacking. One by one, the other pyramids start to crumble and fall apart. One by one, they decide to switch detours and restring harps instead.

On the way out, Kentucky runs into the Cousins, who were on the second flight. They tell them that it is easy and steal their cab. Who says chivalry is dead? Speaking of bad blood, the team with the divorcees start sniping at the Big Brother team. Now let's get one thing straight; I'm not a fan of Rachel at all. Vanessa may be my new least favorite person this season after her verbal bullying of her, though.

As the second round of teams arrive into town, team Border Patrol arrives at their next task. This time, one member has to do a traditional bottle dance (?) which includes balancing a bottle on your head while doing a choreographed routine. Teams are only given so many bottles, and if you go through them all, you have to go through a two hour penalty.

World on a String

More and more people start showing up at the harp auditorium to start restringing harps. The twins, Team Kentucky, and the Army couple all arrive and get to work. The Army couple decide to use the Express Pass they won in the first challenge to move on, so they head to the bottle to begin dancing. All the teams start talking about how much better it is working inside than outside, which goes on to prove that Americans are terrible manual laborers and farmers.

Big Brother arrives and quickly gets done restringing their harp, propelling them to third place. Take that, Vanessa! They are followed by Kentucky, the cousins, and the Female Feds. Back at the melons, Team Jersey is the second team to finish a pyramid, leaving the Divorcees alone with a crowd that is laughing at their every misfortune.

At the bottle dance, Art decides that his head is square enough to easily balance a dozen bottles. After a few tries, he finishes the dance and they head to the pit stop a few blocks away, easily claiming first place. The Army couple arrive, and for some reason Dave is the one who decides to dance. Like me, Dave has an egg head, so the bottle won't stay put. He quickly goes through all his bottles, thus incurring the two hour penalty. This is usually a very bad omen for teams.

End of the Road

Team Big Brother arrives at the bottle dance, and Rachel breezes through the dance. To make up for how great she was doing all day, she starts crying and convulsing on the final six block run to the finish. When they are told that they are officially second place, her tears magically disappear. Team Jersey is close behind to take third place, followed by Kentucky in fourth, Female Feds in fifth, and the re-instated Army couple officially taking sixth. The cousins finally come in to take seventh place.

That leaves the twins and the divorcees on the course. Both teams think about switching tasks, but decide to work through their troubles. Vanessa says she doesn't want Ralph's kid seeing them quit and thinking that it is okay to do so. Sorry, Vanessa, I'm pretty sure the dissolving of both of your former marriages already shows them that quitting runs in the family.

The twins finish restringing, and the divorcees finish stacking and go on to the dance, both thinking they are the last team remaining. Surprisingly, they run into each other at the dance, but it is the divorcees who complete the task and take the final spot. The twins take last and are eliminated.

Not a bad episode, but it goes on to prove that watermelons are the natural enemy of all Race contestants. The struggles with the stacking this year, mixed with the watermelon hit to the face that became on of the greatest GIFs in history from a few years ago, only confirm this. It looks like the real race is to see which team can make me want to vomit the most, with the divorcees clearly in the lead. Let's see who can take the lead next week!

Chase Gamradt
Contributing Writer

(Image courtesy of CBS)