Big Brother

Prior to Big Brother 7's season premiere, there was ample time to evaluate and examine the houseguests and speculate as to what may or may not happen.  Why?  Because we knew everyone on the show.  That's the beauty of an all-star season.  It may take away from the sense of discovery, but there's always something to be said for familiarity.  Big Brother 8, now two days away from its premiere, does not afford us the same sort of cast knowledge.  All we know about these people is what CBS has told us: we have a small picture and short bio. 

Given these tight parameters, I will do my best to infer information about these Big Brother 8 house guests.  I will look deep into their souls, via the small picture CBS has released of each.  I will make fearless predictions based only upon hunches and star signs and my tarot cards and this shrunken gypsy head I keep at my desk.  These houseguest predictions are ordered backwards, from who I think will be voted out first to who I believe will be cashing a $500,000 check next month.  Onwards!

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7th, 6th, and 5th Place: “The Sorority Triumvirate” - Daniele, Jessica, and Carol

Pick any order you want, but this is when the most despised/loved alliance in Big Brother history will begin to crumble.  Daniele (20), Jessica (21), and Carol (21) will have been the story of Big Brother 8, forming an obnoxiously loud and bitchy alliance, full of drunkenness and nakedness.  It is because of this last reason (the nakedness) that these three will become media sensations over the course of the season.  Big Brother: After Dark will be a necessary component in bringing fans said nakedness and will boost the ratings of Big Brother 8 up to the point where CBS will have no choice but to immediately green light Big Brother 9 for summer 2008.  It is interesting how they will treat the whole Daniele-alcohol thing, given that she is not yet of age.  It is certainly possible that she'll turn 21 at some point in the season, which would be fun for a number of reasons.  The alliance crumbled after the four non-Sorority players decided to bite the bullet and take the ladies out.  


4th Place: Mike

Mike will be put up against alliance member Jameka, so his elimination will be a foregone conclusion.  Mike is more of a physical threat so it will be deemed his time to go.  An unfortunate end for Mike, the kind mid-westerner who was liked by all, both in the house and across America.  Mike will go out by shedding a tear, hugging Jameka, and leaving her a sobbing mess as he goes out to talk with Julie Chen.


3rd Place: Jameka

Jameka, now without her alliance partner Mike, will have little desire to play the game and is therefore an easy target.  She gets sent home unceremoniously, anti-climatically.  Fans at home are upset, because Jameka has been an audience favorite all season and the viewers will want her to give it all now that she made it to the final three.  Alas, Jameka will end up not even putting up a fight.


2nd Place: Joe

The alliance between Dick and Joe will be a complete mystery to the other house guests for the first three quarters of the season.  In fact, it will seem like the two absolutely hate each other.  They are polar opposites: Dick is a 44-year-old bar manager, Joe is a 23-year-old receptionist.  However, Dick concocts the secret alliance early in the season and the two will play it off expertly.  They will be verbally abusive to each other, often getting other housemates to break up their “fights”.  Joe loses because Dick is looked at as more of an orchestrator and a better overall player.


1st Place: Dick

Dick looks kind of like Tommy Lee.  From this, we can infer that he is a weathered So-Cal dude who is probably a lot sharper than we expect.  I feel like Dick has some serious Dr. Will potential.  He will bring attention to himself, place that bullseye on his back, but this will make the other housemates believe that he's not really a threat.  Couple that with the secret alliance with Joe, and you have your Big Brother 8 winner. 




-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Images Courtesy of CBS)