Big Brother

Big Brother 9's cast has been revealed, along with a relative wealth of biographical information on each new house guest.  With the announcement that they will start the season competing in teams, it's a little bit difficult to do our normal Arbitrary Predictions, because we don't know who will be paired with whom.  So, we're altering it slightly to Arbitrary Power Rankings.  This is how is works: I take a gander at each house guest picture, age and bio, then, in a pretty random manner, decide who will fare well and who won't on Big Brother 9.  Simple enough.

Click here to read Big Brother: Arbitrary Pre-Season Power Rankings, 8-1

#16 - Parker, 26, paparazzo from Northridge, California. 

I hate to say the token black guy is going to get eliminated early in the game, but everyone hates the paparazzi, and Parker works for the scummiest group of the bunch – TMZ.  Working for the paparazzi is like saying you're a Jehovah's Witness or being a fan of Celine Dion – I'm just going to dislike you on principle. 


#15 - Neil, 29, realtor from Los Angeles, California. 

A picture of Neil surfaced after the cast was announced with him and Perez Hilton.  If he's anything like Perez (gossipy, annoying, self-involved), then I don't see him getting on the good sides of the rest of the house guests.


#14 - Allison, 28, pharmaceutical sales representative from Boston, Massachusetts.

I've got the two Massachusetts dwellers right in a row here, though it's not on purpose. Things just work out that way sometimes.  I don't have much of an opinion on Allison right now.  Out of everyone on the cast, she seems the most “blah,” which also means she's probably the most normal.  Normal people who go on Big Brother soon realize that going on the show was a mistake (take Carol from last season) and sabotage themselves.


#13 - Matt, 23, roofing foreman from Charleston, Massachusetts.

This guy just seems to me like your typical Masshole.  I saw him interviewed - he's like an evil version of Rob Mariano (or, if you find that last sentiment redundant, “a much more evil version of Rob Mariano”).  He's a self-proclaimed promiscuous ladies man and, after a couple weeks in the Big Brother house, this type of behavior will probably get a little old. 


#12 - Jen, 26, bartender from Columbus, Ohio. 

Party girl and the requisite hottie, Jen will be fun to watch while in the house.  However, I think the girls will get a little catty and want to avert some of the men's attention to themselves.  Therefore, they'll target Jen.


#11 - Sheila, 45, former Penthouse cover girl from Reseda, California.

Sheila is the oldest person on the show by 16 years.  While Dick proved that such an age gap isn't insurmountable, he had the luxury of having his daughter there with him.  I think she's going to fail to connect with the other house guests and I don't really see a former Penthouse pet being a great game player.  Maybe I'm wrong. 


#10 - Jacob, 23, electrician from Dallas, Georgia. 

Like Allison, I'm not getting a big vibe from Jacob.  His profession (electrician) and the big cross around his neck are really all we have to go off of.  When I was growing up, our electrician was a man named Ernest and he was in his eighties and had been doing the same job for sixty years.  Ernest was awesome.  But, anyways, going on Big Brother doesn't seem like something an electrician should be doing. 


#9 - James, 21, originally from Sarasota, Florida, currently biking around the world. 

James is, supposedly, crazy.  His nickname is Crazy James.  After a while of being bottled up in a small house, his craziness is going to emerge in more and more disturbing ways and what was charming at first will become unbearable for everyone else.


-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of CBS)