Originally Aired on Wednesday, April 26, 2006
BuddyTV Episode Rating: **** (4 stars out of 5)
The final six contestants travel to Bangkok and slim down to a size five.
- Nnenna shows her true colors
- Danielle gets dental work
- Joanie has to touch Jade's feet
- The girls are left hanging
Some women change like the weather, and AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL Nnenna Agba is no different. Not sure if it was the influence of hanging out with Jade Roda on a daily basis or if all the challenge wins finally went to her head, but recent weeks have introduced us to a new Nnenna. Wednesday night's episode began with a mock elimination. Jade playing the role of Tyra Banks and Nnenna and Furonda Brasfield in the roles of the final two. Anything that involves Jade can't be good.
Next we see Furonda practicing her catwalk and offering commentary of how she has become an Idol front-runner....I don't know about you, but I've never met a supermodel with a lightbulb head but that's just me. Maybe she can model for General Electric. Resident Southern girl Danielle Evans has to decide between closing the space between her two front teeth and leaving the competition.
Rachel McCallister is a media trainer, in essence she teaches the Britney Spears' and Beyonces of the world how to NOT stick their foot in their mouths. She encourages the girls to always accentuate the positive in an interview. Rachel then introduces Vanity Fair columnist George Wayne, a gentleman in his early fifties with a thick Caribbean accent. George prides himself on going for the jugular in an interview and gets right to work in scaring the snot out of the girls.
Danielle describe herself to George as being cantankerous...he asked her to spell it. Didn't your mother warn you about using too many "big" words? George asked Furonda if she thought she was Queen of Sheba..."No, I've never been to Sheba," she responded gleefully. You know what, I take back my earlier comments about Furonda. If she thinks that Sheba is a country, then maybe she can be a good supermodel.
George picks Nnenna as the winner of the challenge, but not after prefixing that he thinks that she is a bit "snobby." An elated Nnenna chooses Jade to accompany her to the spa where she has won a day of pampering and the other girls get to come too; since they'll be doing the pampering. Nnenna states that she suspect that her housemates may be a little discouraged at her challenge winning streak..."What do they expect, this is a competition." For a bald chick, Nnenna sure has a lot of attitude.
The Beauties in Thailand:
Danielle continues to struggle with the idea of having to get rid of the space between her teeth. Can you blame her, that would be a nice place to store food for later. Danielle called her Mom who advised her, "You call the shot on this one." Isn't that just like a Mom, when we really need some guidance you leave the big decision to us. I think Moms are best at offering advice when we don't want it and didn't ask for it.
Danielle chooses her impending model career and gets the gap closed, although she admits that not having a space to slip her tongue into will take some getting used to. That night, Sara Albert talks to her boyfriend about George's perception of her during the mock interview. George wasn't sure that "this is what Sara wants." Sara worries about her inability to show how excited she is to be in the running.
Danielle and Sara both a bit depressed during dinner are pleased to learn, from a drag queen dressed as Tyra, that the group will be going to Bangkok. "I'm going to Bangkok, sucker," Danielle shouted. Don't worry, "sucker" is country for "buddy" or friend. Nnenna also expresses excitement, "I have high expectations for myself, and others have high expectations for me." Really? Well, you're just a regular Cindy Crawford aren't you, Nnenna? The girls are picked up from the airport in a pink bus, it will be their bus for the reminder of their stay in Bangkok. The bus resembles a dragon and takes the girls to the HUGE hotel where they will be living. Think the Beverly Hills Hotel or The Empire in New York City. The penthouse is so plushed that I'll bet the soap in this place came from Tiffany's. Everyone wants to learn the Thai culture and the language, but there's no time for that since its time for Jade and Nnenna's spa treatment. Danielle and Sarah are responsible for the bath. Joanie Dodds and Furonda are stuck doing the massages...and yes, that does include touching Jade's feet. Furonda laments that she has a difficult time "rubbing people" and completes her massages with the single use of her index finger.
Floating Fish Market:
Whenever we see Mr. Jay, we know its photo shoot time. "You're going to be mermaids," he told the group. The shoot, which is just a plug to buy Banana Boat Suntan Lotion, will take place above Bangkok's famous floating fish market. Yep, they were hanging above murky water that reeked of red salmon. Danielle was up first, literally, and she felt every moment of it. "My uterus is as flat as a pancake." Luckily for her Mr. Jay didn't see any of that pain on her face, "Whenever Danielle is up, I just feel like a proud papa because she knows what she's doing."
Danielle may have known what she was doing, but Nnenna sure didn't. "I don't have any hair...I don't know what type of mermaid I look like." That's just the thing, she looked more like a constipated superhero hanging in mid-air. The rest of the girls silently gloated as they watched Nnenna falling on her face from mid-air. Witch One was followed by her partner in crime the Queen Witch also known as Jade. Surprisingly, Jade didn't look forty-two years old. Mr. Jay discussed her as soft and fierce. I guess every dog as her good days.
Sara started out like a "scared guppie," but got it together by the last frame. Mr. Jay used a similar analogy to describe Furonda, who followed Sara. "Furonda looked like fish bait," he said. I'd liken her more to E.T caught in the headlights, but she did manage to push through the pain. Joanie was reeled up as the shoot wrapped up. Joanie had made the mistake of downing a whole cup of coffee while waiting her turn, five guesses what happened once she was hoisted up in the arm upside down. Although she was nauseous, Joanie produced one of the shoots best photos.
"I think the world would be very upset if we leave," Jade giggled to Nnenna as the huddled over their tub of witches' brew. Ok, there was no witches' brew, but the only thing that upsets me is that these two haven't been ousted from the competition yet. The eliminations are held in a Thai castle and as usually there's one last hurdle to get over before the final six is sliced. Tyra orders the girls to sell their personas, but to make it "memorable." We'll they were all memorable, but that's not necessarily a good thing for some. Let's start with the best two first, Sara focused on her intelligence and tried not to be shallow, but Twiggy warned her that calling herself intelligent in the media could put her the middle of a media firestorm. Danielle was by far the most authentic, she happily described her nappy hair, her recently closed gap..Danielle's just fun.
No one wants to hear about the good performances, so on with the bad...which was pretty much everyone else. Joanie was so bland, she used practically every undesirable saying known to man. I was just counting the seconds until she reminded us, "That life is like a box of chocolates." Furonda was wearing a '70's style disco dress. She looked like she was ready to go dance with Donna Summer at Studio 54 and she couldn't think of a single thing to say when asked to sell her persona. Jade and Nnenna were by far the worst, shocking.
Jade, the self-proclaimed biracial butterfly, looked as she always does, like she was trying to prove her blackness in her clothes. No episode would be complete without a new vocabulary word from Jade. This week's AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL is brought to you by the word proportionable. God, please don't let me grow up to be a twenty-seven year old woman (who looks forty-seven) and still not know that proportionable is not a word. If Jade was bad, Nnenna was horrid. She delivered a never-ending speech on how her impending AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL win will transform her home country of Nigeria. Sorry, Nnenna but this is not the Miss. Universe pageant.
Ultimately the long-winded speech, coupled with Nnenna's recent "Screw you, I'm all that attitude" that sent her packing and left Jade crying. Even the Witched Witch of the West cried when that house fell on her sister.