's three-part final HoH competition always kicks off with an endurance challenge, and usually it lasts a long, long time. But with such physically weak players remaining, this one probably won't make it into any record books. Let's be honest, unless the competitions involve killing a mannequin for a scarf, accepting a crappy marriage proposal and NOT telling time, this season's Big Brother
endgame won't exactly be Olympic-caliber.
Big ho-hum. The *ehem-unworthy-ehem* Final Three are up on a rolling log, holding on to their keys as best they can. The Great Chen told them that the seasons will change around them (if only this season would miraculously change as well, but it's too late for that) along with the weather. It's started to rain, and we get a shower of Trivia on the feeds.
After about half an hour, they're still holding on. It seems to be taking so long since Natalie and Jordan are talking about sushi. They're discussing vegetables too. If I were Natalie and thank heavens I'm not, I'd distract Jordan by bringing up the peach-nectarine debate again.
Whiny Natalie wants to take her sweater off. She should, just so we can watch her fall. Kevin's finding it easy to hold on to his key. Does it look like another win for the guy?
More complaints from the Whiny One. She's tired and all wet and she doesn't want to do this anymore. There's one simple solution for that. Let go already.
The HGs get a faceful of leaves, then some mist, then more rain. None of them have given up so far. They're all walking as the log turns slowly. Maybe the winner's the one who gets a cold first.
The rain's stopped and silence takes over. Each of the contestants have a different type of walk - Natalie's are giant steps, Jordan's are your average ones, and Kevin's sort of skipping. It's almost similar to his cocoa-marshmallow strategy. Hm, the log must be so relaxed with the massage its been receiving.
The HGs are obviously as bored as we are, so Jordan suggests they sing "A thousand bottles of beer on the wall." I don't think they can finish the song without anyone falling. Wait, they really can't finish the song because they start bashing Michele instead.
Natalie comments on how Madame Neuroscientist is finally getting her chance to be with Jeff in the Jury House. Of course, this infuriates Jordan who calls her an instigator. Just for that, I'm cheering her on. Natalie gets fired up and curses Michele some more. Then she curses production. They spite her by stopping the log in mid-turn. She and Kevin almost slip! Ha! Never mess with production.
"Good one, Big Brother! That almost got me," Kevin says. They think the log is broken but it starts moving backwards, causing Jordo to complain this time. Slower, then faster. She wonders if she can turn around to follow the log's rotation but Natalie stops her. Is she mad that she didn't think of that first? Oh, okay. Production tells them they have to face the pool at all times.
The HGs are walking sideways instead, braving the rain again. These guys look as miserable as we do. We get some Trivia and later find out that Natalie tried to cheat, using Jordan's idea of facing the other side. Anyone else want the log to fall on her?
It's been an hour and they're exhausted. Jordan's arms are hurting and she has no Jeff to cheer her on. Natalie mentions that the competition would be better-suited for him and Russell, and the others agree.
More mist and leaves and rain. I'm hoping the giant snowballs come next. Or maybe leftover mud from a previous comp, as a tribute to Michele.
"When is it going to be summer?" Kevin screams. Natalie wants it to be spring, since she's sneezing so much that she might just fall off. Well then keep that rain coming.
Kevin's trying to figure out the mechanism of the log. He thinks he can predict what will happen next. Production surprises him as "white stuff" starts to fall. Natalie can't believe it. Someone please pelt her with snowball.
The Final 3's still up on that log. Sneezes from the Lonesome Ranger duo, but they're still gripping their keys. I withdraw my earlier comment regarding the first to get a cold. These two look like they've been awarded with germs already.
Only Kevin looks relaxed among the three. Pain's written on the faces of Natalie and Jordan, and even more so when hail starts to fall. They're struck with bits of ice and more cursing starts.
Kevin starts to cover his eyes to protect them from the ice. The snow is mild on his end, but it's getting really bad for Jordan. Apparently the snow's fake since it doesn't melt, but instead keeps sticking to them. Natalie thinks it's made of soap. A free bath for her then. She's hardly taken any since being in the house, so there we go.
The log speeds up and it stops snowing. No one has fallen yet. Natalie talks about how easy this competition is since she's not vomiting like she did during the Graduation Day comp. Nothing much happening other than more rain.
Since my wish for snow was granted, right now I'm hoping they spray the HGs with bugs just to get Natalie out of there. It'll be like a plague of locusts headed straight for her, but one can only dream.
Log log: Faster, forwards, backwards, moving around in any way possible to cause at least one of them to fall. It looks unlikely, since hamsters are used to walking on wheels.
Natalie keeps complaining about her hands and she's really struggling. Kevin and Jordan look okay. She even smiled once.
The HGs are asked to adjust their mics so it's a brief respite. Still, they have to hold on to their keys. The competition stops for a bit before the log starts rolling again.
Kevin's concentrating on the movement of the log while Natalie and Jordan are smiling about something. Jordo almost slips but doesn't, as the log starts to roll really fast again.
Production must be noticing how long this competition's taking, since they're doing whatever it takes for the HGs to fall off. The log's changing speed at random, stopping all of a sudden then going back and forth.
The HGs think (or are praying) that the log's broken. It's not. There are clunking noises coming out of it but Natalie is convinced it's all part of the game.
Jordan seems to know her seasons more than Natalie. She's identified the snow, and now she's pointing out the lightning. It's a stormy spell on the hamsters in the meantime.
Minutes later and still no one has fallen off. Jordan is now bouncing up and down to get hold of the key.
They've been hanging there for about two hours now! To mark this event, they get another thunderstorm surprise. Yaaay. Natalie almost falls and she can't stop talking about it. Jordan's trying to fix up her hoodie and that's about as exciting as things get.
It looks like the keys have been lowered because of the HGs' varying heights. Kevin's is up highest, next is Jordan's and finally Natalie's. Other than that thrilling bit of news, there's more snow and the F3's still holding on.
Natalie brings out some candy from her pocket and shares the Mentos with the other two. She's starting to look relaxed as the log stops. Jordan yawns, expressing our very sentiments.
The HGs have their dinner, courtesy of Kevin and his protein bar. Natalie tells the other two, "You guys can just fall, I'm not going anywhere, you can just compete tomorrow." Kevin calls her a wench.
The log isn't moving but the weather's still shifting here and there. Natalie is trying to convince the others to just drop so it'll be all over. Why can't she take her own advice? They then get wind and rain. Still no bugs.
Natalie starts lying again. She tries to distract Jordan by telling her that there was one comp that lasted for 9 hours. I'm thinking this doesn't work since the girl can't even tell time. But Natalie's lies are never that great in the first place.
The log has stopped for about 20 minutes now and production surprises the HGs by rotating it again. It goes forward as another storm hits the contestants. Oh, when will this end?
More back-and-forth action from the log. Strains hit the hands of the HGs and no one has fallen. Production better do something about how boring this is getting.
Natalie's being called out for holding the rope and not the key. She's being accused of (as usual) cheating and I'm not surprised. After minutes of Trivia, the log goes crazy again. Even though we can see how painful it is for the HGs, none of them have dropped. Isn't it time for a huge twist yet or something?
The log's trying to shake at least one of them off. No success in that. It's almost three hours already! None of them is even close to giving up!
Kevin's keeping an eye on the log's gears while Natalie tries to mess with their heads. "You guys ready to drop? It's no shame to drop now!" she announces. Kevin responds with: " I'm going 'til the sun rises, wench!"
Wobble alert, as Natalie might end up armless after this. Jordan complains about her hands but she's quiet most of the time. The ever-noisy Natalie sends a shoutout to her boyfriend/fiance and I can't help but wonder if the guy's right in the head for proposing to this girl. Cue the rain showers again plus another big Jordan-yawn.
Natalie's attempts to trick the other two are failing, but that just means this competition can last even longer. The pain's not going to go away unless one of them gives in to failure. Anyway, Kevin keeps looking downwards like he's sleeping. They're still holding on and so are we.
All three HGs are feeling cold and even Jordan suggests playing Rock, Paper, Scissors so things will get settled at last. Didn't Jeff try that on Russell before? They all start shaking to keep warm, but BB gives them a monsoon so it's no use. Kevin appears to be muttering something to himself and humming. Is he going delusional or trying to stay sane? Maybe I should take that up. This is taking too long.
After 14 minutes, the log starts rolling again and the FIRST TO FALL IS JORDAN. Holy crap on a cracker. Kevin's celebrating. Now it's down to him and the wench.
Okay, they're making deals now. Natalie is making him swear that he'll take her to the Final 2. They're speaking in Spanish and counting down minutes. The Whiny One won't quit until she has Kevin's word, but even that isn't enough.
Meanwhile, Jordan's busy with a hot shower. There goes the game. Kevin and Natalie are still at it, thinking up plans for the week. He tells her to let go because he's honestly (yeah, right) going to take her to the end with him.
"I am! If I wanted to screw you I would have taken Michele," Kevin says. He thinks he still has a couple of hours in him but Natalie claims she can stay hanging for more. Both are being stubborn and neither have given up, unlike many audiences watching this season.
Natalie hasn't thrown the comp to Kevin yet. The log switches directions, to and fro and stuff. Jordan's fully dressed already and heads outside. Maybe Natalie wants an audience.
Jordan walks out, then goes back inside for a blanket. At the time, Natalie finally jumped off and Kevin wins the first round. After more than three hours, iiit's over!
HoH Round 1: KEVIN WON.
Read our recap of Tuesday's live eviction episode
-Maria Gonzalez, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Image courtesy of CBS)