It goes without saying that making pre-season predictions for a reality show is a recipe for disaster. The predictions will be incorrect, and looking back at the predictions after the fact will only make the futility of the exercise that much clearer. But, friends, that is not the point. The Big Brother 10
: Arbitrary Pre-Season Predictions are for fun, a way to judge and label people with only the slightest amount of background information. Totally fun, right? Prior to the beginning of Big Brother 10
, I predicted how far each houseguest would make it in the game. I'm proud to say that my predictions were abysmal. Putrid. Horrifyingly bad. Let's take a looksie:
Before I made my predictions, I grouped the houseguests into different alliances. Here's what I came up with:
The D-Bag Parade
The Coalition of Normal People
The Antique Club
The Legion of Temptresses
The Odd Woman Out
I guess, in a way, I predicted the Dan and Memphis alliance. I can't give myself too much credit, however, because I thought I would absolutely despise both those guys. I got my D-Bag prediction for Jessie right on. The Legion of Temptresses was very, very wrong. Keesha and Angie stayed celibate inside the house, while April shacked up with one man (the Son of a Preacher Man) all season. I don't think I was that far off with Michelle as the Odd Woman Out. She made friends, yes, but her allegiances were fluid, and she did butt heads with a number of houseguests.
Moving to my order of finish predictions. They were embarrassingly poor.
13th Place: Michelle
12th Place – Renny
11th Place – April
10th Place – Jerry
9th Place – Memphis
8th Place – Ollie
7th Place – Angie
6th Place – Dan
5th Place – Brian
4th Place – Jessie
3rd Place – Keesha
2nd Place – Libra
1st Place – Steven
So, my best prediction was probably Keesha, who I predicted to finish third and ended up finishing fourth. No one else was particularly close.
Here are some choice excerpts from my predictions that prove just how terrible an idea it is to judge human beings sight unseen.
Renny, the 53-year-old New Orleans socialite, does not have a chance. If she plays it cool, sticks with her fellow older players, the house will accuse her of being a floater and resting on her laurels. If she is social and active in the game, especially with some of the younger men, the other ladies will be all, “No, she di – n't.”
Of course, the ladies didn't really resent Renny at all. She ended up being, perhaps, my favorite houseguest of the season.
I also see April as a kind of Natalie-lite when it comes to Stage 5 Clinger-ism. She could very well become obsessed with Jessie or Memphis to the point of total repulsion.
I'm pretty proud of my April is a Stage-5 Clinger call.
Dan strikes me as a horribly insufferable human. When you really despise a Big Brother houseguest, you kind of want them to make it far, if only so you can have someone to root against for weeks on end. His ultra conservative (and sexist) leanings will make him an early enemy of the people, though he will hide behind the seemingly strong wall of the D-Bag Parade.
I really thought I would hate Dan. He turned out, thankfully, to be a stand up guy and a great, great player. One of the best ever, in fact.
Jessie will be annoying, but naïve. He isn't particularly hatable, just young and dumb. Kind of like all body builders.
I think I nailed this one.
That's right, I'm picking the gay cowboy to win it all. Chalk it up. You heard it here first.
Um...let's just forget about that prediction.
Big Brother 10: Completely Arbitrary Pre-Season Predictions, Part 1
Big Brother 10: Completely Arbitrary Pre-Season Predictions, Part 2
-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of CBS)