Welcome, once again, to "What the Frock?"
where we question the stylistic sanity of our favorite TV actresses.
Today, we have a special double feature of "WHOA THERE honey I can almost see your lady bits" with faux-reality's resident shiz-stirrer Kristen Cavallari, and the seems-almost-too-realistic stripper in The Hangover
, Heather Graham.The question is almost hilariously irrelevant, but here you go: Who wore it better?
I know, you need to see the image bigger. Let's pretend we're on CSI.
There we go.
Now, I'm really torn. (Oh wait, that's what the dress is.
) I am actually of single mind about this dress, worn mere days apart at two different premieres, and it can be summed up thusly: No.
Or, let's make that a No...ish.
If just one skinny starlet had shown up on a colored carpet wearing this skin-tight shredded LBD, fine. We'd call it a bit of bad judgment or self-delusion that she refused to go a size up, even though her breasts were acting like they were being squeezed down through a toothpaste tube; like they were being punished for being too prominent or something. Like that's a bad thing.
Anyway, if it had happened once, I would have just let 'er slide. But twice
makes me think that maybe this dress is supposed
to make you unable to perform the basic functionality of a human (you know... sitting, leaning, eating, breathing...). And then I start thinking about robots. A robot with a rockin' bod could wear such a dress: one, she'd never need to ex- or inhale, and two, those slits provide easy access for any mechanical maintenance issues.
(Yes, I realize the slits aren't actually showing skin. But they might as well be, bein' all nude-colored and what not.)
But as much as I have fun daydreaming that Kristen Cavallari is really a robot created somewhere in the depths of MTV's underground reality programming lab (where they brainwash those Real World
kids into forgetting what "rational behavior" looks like), and that she (it)
is programmed with orders to destroy Lauren Conrad, and how much sense that makes
given what little a crap K-Cav seems to give about anything... it's just a daydream. And at the end of the day, the dress is too tight and too short for human use.
Kristen definitely wins on the shoes front, though. Robots 1, Strippers 0.
-Meghan Carlson, BuddyTV Staff Writer
Image courtesy of WENN