In this week's Bachelor Pad
Drama Map, I struggled with how to visually do justice to just how comprehensive, terrifying and yet somehow classic
Melissa's meltdown really was.
Remember last season on The Bachelor when she got in that massive fight
with the Manscaper, flipped out to anyone who would listen and then, in the middle of crying to Brad Womack, kept talking about her pizza breath? The whole reason she said she came on Bachelor Pad
was to repair the damage that she did with that freak-out. And then, last night, she did it all again
-- just let loose a tornado of tear-duct explosions and crazy talk, physically and emotionally imposed upon everyone until they felt their lives might be in danger, and then was somehow horrified to learn that no one wanted to be around that.
Like I said: Classic Melissa.
In the end, I opted for a more traditional and easier image than the other ones I considered. (Which were: a gun that shoots knives; a two-headed Tanya Harding/Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction
monster; a tornado made of tear-duct explosions and crazy talk and feelings.) And there's your weekly look into my fascinating creative process for these silly maps. ENJOY!YOUR VISUAL GUIDE TO THIS WEEK'S PAD DRAMA:
It should be noted that, this week, everyone kissed everyone (the hetero definition of "everyone"), but only kisses of passion, not kisses of compulsory competition, have been noted. Except for this week's "winners," Ella and Blake, who each won roses for knowing their way around someone else's mouth.
Next week, the remaining Bachelor Pad contestants will play the "Nearly-wed Game," in which they must publicly insult and humiliate each other, because they obviously don't do that enough already. Oh, and the two-hour episode will air on Labor Day, a national holiday that celebrates people who have actually made economic and civil contributions to our society. Isn't summer programming just the best?
(Cast images courtesy of ABC)