Here's everything you
need to know to stay in the know about ABC's summer reality smash about a bunch of people who don't know what they're doing. It's this week's Bachelor Pad
roundup!DELETED SCENE: "We like you, and we're in the same boat as you ... the Love Boat!"
Ames. Sweet, sensitive, naive (Wall Street banker?!) Ames. Trusting
Kasey and Vienna was your first and only move, and your first and last
mistake. But at least you accomplished something before you left
DIARIES OF THE DEPARTED:
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Gia is as drunk on alcohol as Ames and Jackie are drunk on love. (At least at the time.
) Next Monday, on BITCHELOR PAD!
ABC's press release for Week 3 tells us that, as people grow tired of Kasey and Vienna's (stupid, stupid) reign of the house, Jake will gain some allies (is one of them Erica's tongue?), Melissa will "grow furious" (and a spiked tail) with Blake, and Michael and Holly will share "what could be a defining moment in their relationship." The week's challenge will emulate the shockingly tame and unsexy "sport" of synchronized swimming, but -- never fear! -- ABC promises the challenge will showcase "rock hard abs and sexy curves." Here's a preview for the next episode
in which ABC teases a Jake-Kasey showdown. (And spells Kasey's name wrong!)"Next week is synchronized swimming and it's the funniest, saddest moment in Bachelor history.":
Funnier and sadder than Jeff the Mask?! Or Kasey's tattoo? Or anything that the Weatherman said/did/was? Wow, I can't wait! Meanwhile, Chris Harrison continues to get bolder and more awesome in his weekly talk with TVGuide
. "It was interesting to watch their reactions when I pulled the rug out
from under them and announced that two women would be going home this
week. Vienna immediately got emotional and asked everybody to stage a
walkout -- no seriously, she really did.":
Chris also shares just how much he enjoys using his God-like powers to toy with a certain Bachelor Pad
contestant (whom he clearly despises
) over at EW
No Shirt, No Shoes, No Shame:
That's the motto that these ab-tacular patrons
of the Bachelor Pad
live by. [Wetpaint]
Since he's barely spoken in the five hours of Bachelor Pad 2 that we've seen thus far, why not take a moment and get to know Graham Bunn?
If you're like, "Who has the time?!" then allow me to tell you what I learned from this interview
: He's not afraid of anything weird, he doesn't wear underwear (that is weird and I'm afraid of it!), and he'll finally get some solid airtime later this season. Or, rather, he says that he did some airtime-worthy stuff: "Michelle convinced me to do some pretty embarrassing things on the
show, so I'll leave it at that. If you tune in, Michelle got me to do
some things I'm not looking forward to, but I'm sure it'll be pretty
entertaining for the fans." [Wetpaint]Did you ever notice how it's always the people who end up looking BAD on The Bachelor who say "it's just a show"?
Kasey and Vienna want you to know that they are not cocky, arrogant or vindictive people, even though that's all we ever see. Also there's an unconvincing bit about how all the men agreed to throw their Ugliness eggs at Erica because it was "easiest," angle-wise. Oh yeah? Well, I'm not mean or vindictive or anything either, but Vienna's new nose looks exactly like her old nose... angle-wise. [Twitvid
]Princess Erica responds to Monday's episode in this week's "Rose for Roses":
No tiara, but lots of truth-telling. Like: "We're all really pretty in our own ways." Erica, you are wise beyond your furry pink bathrobe and monotone Valley Girl voice.And, on a sad note:
As you may have already seen if you follow her on Twitter
, Michelle Money's father, whom we met in the season premiere, passed away on August 14. My thoughts are with Michelle, and I hope now more than ever that she wins this show and donates her winnings to cancer research, as she's said she plans to do.
(Image courtesy of ABC)