'Bachelor Pad' Recap: If You Play with Fire, You Get Burned
'Bachelor Pad' Recap: If You Play with Fire, You Get Burned
This week, it's the moment we've been waiting for since puppet master Chris decided to string along Blakeley and Jamie for the benefit of his game. After realizing how crazy both of them are being, he discards both like last night's leftovers and sets his sights on someone new.

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And does David have any shot in the game anymore now that he's the only fan left?

Emotional Fallout

It's the night of Reid and Donna being sent home, and this is completely shocking to David. He genuinely thought both would stay, which shows how much of an outsider he truly is.

Meanwhile, Ed and Jaclyn are celebrating, calling this a pivotal moment in the game. And as I see Jamie crying and whining about being alone in the game, my sympathy level for her continues to drop. Whose fault is that? She had a partner completely willing to be by her side, and she was the one who cast him aside. Save the tears, Jamie.

Who Said That?

The week's competition is set up as a game show. The game itself isn't disappointingly unentertaining. There's trivia, and then "Who Said That?" which was done through a survey the house was given the night of the rose ceremony. Chris Harrison told them to be brutally honest, which I'm sure wasn't difficult because in one hand they had a pen, and the other a drink.

- Ed called himself the person in the house who has accomplished the most in life. This was an obvious answer, and it's a little shocking that Rachel is the only person to get it wrong, and it makes me question her intelligence a little.

- Kalon said Erica would make the worst parent because she eats her own hair. Let's repeat that once more: Kalon said Erica would make the worst parent because she eats her own hair. And then picture Erica actually doing so because she does.

- Jamie said Jaclyn is the most fake because of her constant manipulations. Don't hate; she's just being honest!

- Blakeley said Jamie is the most annoying because she hangs on all the guys.

The winners are Ed and Jaclyn! Ed finally does not completely screw up a competition. Rachel and David get the lowest votes, which has got to seal his fate for certain.

Romance is in the Air

Jaclyn ends up taking Ed for her date, which is smart and sensible. Why spend your date with someone you don't like and not your partner?

The two get all of Dodger Stadium to themselves, even getting the microphone to sing the national anthem. They're so hilariously terrible, and I can't help but feel bad for people who are probably hearing them sing because their voices are vibrating out of the stadium!

They share cute moments -- even a hot dog, and even Jaclyn licking off mustard off the corner of Ed's lips. They also share a kiss, and Jaclyn talks about the possibility of loooove. And fireworks! A date isn't complete without a fireworks show. I'm swooning from all the romance.

Jaclyn is given the option of giving a rose to someone else to go on a date, since she took someone who won. Jaclyn wants to give it to Kalon because he's been the swing vote and giving the rose might bring him a bit more on her side. Ed wants Chris because that's his bro and he trusts him, completely forgetting about the fact that Chris is caught in the middle of a love triangle. Some bro you are, Ed; you should know this can't end well!

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Ed and Jaclyn on Kiss Cam. If no one else is watching, are you really on camera?

Faking It Like a Pro

Back at the house, poor Jamie. She's coming onto Chris so aggressively. And I can't look at her face anymore because her fake eyelashes look like giant spiders ready to attack me through the screen. Chris has got to be careful because she could possibly use them as a weapon if he hurts her.

The more she gushes about how wonderful Chris is, the more pathetic she seems. I'm sure it's the show also egging her on, too. But, hey, she's the one painting him as this perfect human specimen.

Chris, meanwhile, could not like Jamie any less. He feels no chemistry kissing her -- yet he says everything she wants to hear. Why he thinks he can keep this up I have no clue. He's either too dumb or too cocky -- probably a little bit of both.

Chris' New "Car"

Jaclyn gives the "extra" rose to Chris ... who picks Sarah! If looks could kill -- right, Blakeley and Jamie? Jamie is crushed since she spent the night with Chris.

On Chris and Sarah's date, sparks seem to really fly. The skintight leather suit Sarah wears when they film an action scene I'm sure helps a ton. When I see Chris with Sarah I think, how can this be the same guy leading Jamie on? He gives Sarah a "rose" -- a strawberry stuck in a fork. Totally cheesy, but come on, it's so cute.

Sparks fly so much that they decide to get a hotel room together -- apparently, Chris pays for it. I did not know you could do that.

But then he compares Sarah to a new car because it's shiny, new and smooth, and I kinda hate him again.

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When you shoot an action scene, you have to stare deep into each other's eyes.

Back at the house, Jamie can't stop obsessing about Chris. She can't wait for him to "come home." And the best part is that she somehow makes herself believe that Chris picked Sarah out of his loyalty to Blakeley because he actually likes her (Jamie).

If you see delusional in the dictionary, there's a photo of Jamie there. Since there's still a rose to hand out, Ed gets to do so, and he gives it to Rachel. A strategic move since she's in his alliance and also has a vote against her.

Can You Handle All the Drama?

If Blakeley and Jamie were smart, they'd pool their collective hate for each other and hurl it at Chris. But, no, they're both going after the other. Chris also wants Blakeley out and is fighting hard to get her out. He believes he can and so he gets really confident about it. But Ed wants Jamie out since Blakeley is in their alliance. But Chris thinks Jamie will do whatever HE wants.

While everyone else seems to be playing for the group, it seems like Chris is playing for himself -- which may end up hurting him in the end, especially if he's going to continue breaking hearts.

Kalon: A Likable Villain

Again, Kalon/Lindzi become the swing votes. He goes around telling everyone what they want to hear. He's such a smooth operator, though not as villainous as we were expecting him to be. Also, is Lindzi going to speak -- ever?! All she's being known for is being Kalon's girl, and I don't like it. The only time she's shown is with him!

There's a cute thing that Kalon says that strikes the sappy heart of someone like me. When Ed is confused and talks to him about all the stuff he's been hearing, Kalon tells him straight up that he'll tell everyone what they want to hear, but that whatever Lindzi says he'll do is his word. Although Kalon/Lindzi have appeared to be the swing votes, they seem to definitely be in with Ed's group, as this week's voting shows.

Is it even worth mentioning that David tries to plead his case to the girls about voting out Nick over him? Because he tries that.

"Shocking" Results

Jamie and David are out! She confronts Chris, who can't believe he's being yelled at when he went against his alliance to try to get her to stay. He also can't believe he was lied to by people he trusted. One, Kalon doesn't count. Two, Ed was trying to tell him why taking out Jamie was better, but Chris just refuses to listen.

This probably also means the Chris/Blakeley partnership is officially over. And also officially over is this really long, drawn-out love triangle. When Chris had no romantic interest in either Jamie and Blakeley, it sucked the fun out of it.

Jamie cries and cries -- and cries. I definitely won't miss those tears.

Esther Gim
Contributing Writer

(Image courtesy of ABC)

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