"If you can't act, then you shouldn't be on Glee." Ali says those words at the start of this week's penultimate episode of The Glee Project
. It's almost hard to believe it took them this long to realize that fact, but this episode is all about acting.
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It's also time for Ryan Murphy and the other Glee
writers to get serious as they eliminate TWO contestants. And if you've been paying attention all season, you should easily be able to figure out which two those are.Homework Assignment: "Addicted to Love" by Robert Palmer
Somehow Michael is the only contestant who has heard of this song, which makes me feel so old. Dianna Agron shows up as the guest mentor, and it's finally time for Blake to perv out on the hotness of the mentor instead of Aylin getting to do it.
The challenge is that Dianna gives each contestant an emotion to play while they're singing, which doesn't seem to be a totally realistic exercise. Michael finally gets to win a homework assignment by looking determined, meaning everyone has at least one win.Movie Trailer/Music Video: "Perfect" by Pink
The music video is a trailer for a fake movie where Aylin is a conservative Muslim who gets pregnant from her mean boyfriend Blake. Blake's BFF Michael falls in love with her and Michael's sister Ali was in a car accident and lost her dream of being an Olympic runner. Lily is Ali's friend who was driving the car during the accident and blames herself.Vocals
: This week there's a fine line between singing the song and acting the song. Lily seems to be the best at it, getting very emotional. As usual, there's no choreography. Oxygen should give Zach Woodlee his own spin-off to atone for how little he got to be in this season.Video Shoot
: The contestants are forced to act in brief little vignettes for the trailer.Lily and Ali
: They have a big, emotional scene where Lily has a breakdown because she blames herself for Ali being paralyzed. Lily makes it all about herself and fails to get the one line director Erik White wants her to get.Blake and Aylin
: They want to see the darker side of Blake as he yells at his girlfriend for cheating on him with his best friend Michael. Zach Woodlee thinks he's very American Psycho
, although he has a Freudian slip where he almost calls it American Horror Story
. Maybe that's how Ryan Murphy will get out of the whole "Only one winner" rule, because one or two of the runners-up could land roles on American Horror Story
or The New Normal
.Blake and Michael
: They fight over Aylin and it's a total smackdown where they both kill it. Who doesn't love two hot guys fighting over a girl?Aylin and Michael
: Their scene is all about Aylin being taken away by her conservative parents, and she does a great job of crying.
The final music video is insanely melodramatic. I'm not really sure how it applies to Glee, unless they're going to have more of the domestic violence or teen suicide storylines.The Bottom 5
The judges are all very proud, and as the last twist, all five will perform in front of Ryan Murphy and the entire writing staff of Glee. Hooray, this means the return of Ian Brennam's hair! He was probably the most vocal supporter of Damian McGinty as a comedic force, so his opinions seem to carry the most weight.Michael - "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper
: He gets the brilliant slow version Cory Monteith sang on Glee, and I actually like Michael's voice better than Cory's. The writers agree that the girls will fall in love with his sweetness.Lily - "Son of a Preacher Man" by Dusty Springfield
: She does another great job reinventing herself, making it very playful and flirty, but also a little dirty. Ian Brennan (my favorite Glee
writer) finds her acting to be "cloying." That seems like the right word, and it's the Kiss of Death for her.Ali - "Here's to Us" by Halestorm
: Ryan didn't like her in the music video, but the other judges blame Lily for being a bad scene partner. The performance is very, VERY theatrical. Ian loves the idea of her playing a total bitch on Glee
.Blake - "I'm Still Standing" by Elton John
: Robert Ulrich pimps his obvious favorite by saying he was infinitely better at acting than everyone else (probably because he's ACTUALLY an actor). Everyone thinks he's a hot star, but lady writer Ali Adler is turned off by his lack of flaws.Aylin - "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera
: Ryan introduces her to the other writers as the Muslim. I still think he's more interesting as a concept than a person. Like Ryan, I'm intrigued by her as a character on the show, but I just don't think Aylin is the right actress. Indeed, the only thing Ryan and the other writers really care about is how writing a Muslim character is new and exciting to them.
In the debate after the performances, one of the key questions is whether or not they should cast the biggest star or if they should feel obligated to pick someone who will add something different. Here's the subtext of the writers' discussion:
Blake is clearly a star, but the show already has plenty of hot guys and he doesn't really bring anything that Chord Overstreet doesn't already provide. The same goes for Michael, except slightly less so.
Meanwhile, Aylin isn't as good, but she's Muslim. And Muslims are new and fascinating and Ryan Murphy never met a hot-button issue he didn't love, and the controversy over that TLC reality show All-American Muslim
is something he desperately wants to be a part of.Who's Going Home?Michael AND Lily are eliminated
! Two for the price of one, Ryan Murphy means business. I'm not completely surprised. I love Michael, but he was NEVER going to beat Blake. And Lily doesn't have "wheelchair" or "Muslim," which put her at a huge disadvantage.
Next week on The Glee Project
: It's the finale and there can be only ONE winner. Will it be Aylin the Turkish-Muslim, or Blake the hot, charismatic star? (If I know Ryan Murphy half as well as I think I do, Aylin will win and Blake will show up on American Horror Story
season 2.) Sorry Ali, but I don't think you have much of a shot, although the fact that Ian Brennan has already fleshed out a character for her is promising.(Image courtesy of Oxygen)