When it comes to dates on The Bachelor
, the one-on-one is the most coveted. The girls don't have to compete for attention and they get Sean all to themselves, minus the camera man, the guy holding the boom-mic and a producer or two directly off-camera.
Just when I was about to declare Leslie M's date the best of the week, Ashlee, I mean AshLee (good grief, why the creative spelling) swooped in and stole my heart. Maybe it was because she had the date that almost wasn't thanks to Tiara's inability to maneuver a winding staircase.
Maybe She Forgot Her Pants
Even though Sean showed up in jeans and a flannel, Leslie M donned a lacy short backless dress for her afternoon date. The dress was so short that for a minute I thought, "Oh, bless her heart, she forgot her pants." Nope, that was the look she was going for. Maybe she thought he was taking her to a pajama party or a strip club. Maybe she wanted her thighs to make a good first impression. So many questions.
This is Your Cue to Get Excited
Leslie was mildly amused when they got to their date destination, The Guinness World of Records Museum. I say, if you get one-on-one time with The Bachelor, girl you better consider yourself lucky you're not back in the Hormonal Hideaway with the rest of the women. Besides, as it turns out, they weren't just there to see pictures of the largest hair ball ever removed from a human, no, they were there for a reason. Well, two actually.
It turns out, Sean's dad holds a Word record for driving all 48 contiguous states in the shortest amount of time, 97 hours and 7 minutes. When he tells her this, Sean's little flannel chest is all puffed up and proud. Leslie's reply, "That. Is. Insane." Flat affect. No emotion. Come on. This is Papa Bachelor we're talking about here. This is your cue to get excited. Shove him like Elaine on Seinfeld and yell, "SHUT UP" or something.
Pucker Up, This Is About To Get Awkward
The other reason for taking her to the GWRM is for some official record-breaking lip-lock time. No, seriously. While they were touring the museum inside, Bachelor producers assembled a crowd outside to watch the two
perfect strangers love birds attempt to break the world record for the longest on-screen kiss. A GWRM official explains the rules. We know he's an official because he speaks with an English accent, carries a clip board and sports a blazer. The timer starts, the crowd cheers and the voyeur official watches them intently. They break the previous record of 3 minutes 16 seconds, confetti shoots all over the crowed and they even receive a fancy certificate. Date #1, success.
Tiara's Terrific Tumble
Later, AshLee is in the kitchen waiting for Sean to arrive for her one-on-one date when she hears a loud noise. Although we don't see the actual fall on camera, it appears Tiara has tumbled down the stairs. Sean appears shortly after and asks someone to call for help, announcing, "I've had a few concussions in my life." Between you and me, this might explain the reason he keeps torturing himself with The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise.
Paramedics come and strap Tiara to a board for transport but after throwing a toddler fit and insisting she doesn't need medical attention, the EMTs happily unstrap her and she runs outside like a wet cat. Minutes later when Sean comes to visit her on the patio outside, she's all smiles and snuggles. Baby threw a fit and baby got the cookie. Clever baby.
Sharing Time for a Good Cause
Finally AshLee is in a jeep heading down the highway with her previously coiffed curls whipping in the wind and her man beside her. Destination: Six Flags. And, they have the whole place to themselves. YES. No lines for the roller coaster, the funnel cake or the bathroom. Awesome!
Just when I think I'm going to watch AshLee and Sean living the dream, he throws a twist in to the mix. There's always a twist. But this time, it was for a good cause. A representative for the Starlight Foundation
steps out of the shadows to announce that two more would be joining their super fun time amusement park day, best friends Emily and Breanna. Only, here's the cool part. Although Emily and Breanna, who both struggle with serious long term illnesses have been online besties, they'd never met in person till that day. What? I know, right? So sweet.
So AshLee and Sean not only get to spend the day together, they also get to make wonderful memories for two young girls AND at the end of the day they get a private concert from the Eli Young band. Date #2, success.
Handle Your Business, Son
Finally, although I thoroughly enjoyed the dates on this episode, I was highly annoyed with the cocktail party. What's up with this unwritten rule that if Sean is talking to one debutante, another one can interrupt and take him away or butt in on the conversation? And not once did Sean say, "Can you wait just a minute, Sweetheart? I'm kind've in the middle of something here." You're The Man, Sean. You're The Bachelor. Handle yo business.
(Image courtesy of ABC)