The premiere of America’s Next Top Model: British Invasion was fabulous and fast-paced! I’m so lucky to get to fill in for Meghan Carlson tonight to recap this season’s first episode. Make sure to join Meghan here next week when she’ll be back from her vacation to continue covering ANTM with her signature snark and insight. For now though, let’s get this modelling party started …

Ass Marie?

Well, it’s quite a start when the first model’s name I hear as “Ass Marie.” Actually, it’s “Azmarie,” so really I was close. Azmarie is a proud American lesbian and I like her confidence and strong features.

The other Americans include Laura who has frizzy hair, a loud personality and announces she’s a Leo. To me, Ebony, an 18-year-old from Seattle, seems the opposite of Laura as she’s quieter and speaks mainly about the importance of school.

Ashley’s accent

On the British side, we have Ashley who has a very thick Scottish accent. She comments to the camera that she knows she’ll be “subtitled” and she’s right on that. Annaliese seems like Laura’s British counterpart as she’s one of the louder girls in the competition.

Despite Annaliese’s booming voice, Alisha, a pretty British black girl complains about the “loud American girls.” As if it’s a punishment to Alisha for what she said, all the girls take part in a deafening parade of screaming over drumming!

Like a Rhinestone Soldier

All of the contestants are wearing military marching band-inspired outfits that are skimpy, but glittery and loaded with buttons. I hate the look, but it fits in with the “battle of the Brits versus the Yanks” theme that Tyra Banks announces. The girls march in pairs – one Brit and one American – on stage to spin and dance around a little. Some of the Americans say to the camera that they are surprised that the seven Brits have all appeared on the British version of Top Model, while they don’t have that experience.

First Photo Shoot

The first photo shoot is all about each girl dressing as a famous person from their country. They also have to jump on a trampoline while 60 cameras capture their photos. Oh this should be good, I think! Then I see Alisha in a revolting shiny pants and shirt outfit in a nauseating combination of pale blue and green and I’m not so sure. She has a tousled blonde wig and is supposed to be Elton John, but I’m not really getting that.

Azmarie is an okay George Washington. A Native American girl (who, just so you know, I am picking as the winner right now!), Mariah, is Pocahontas and I love that she winces a bit at having to be her, but still just goes with it anyway. I also liked the British girl, Kyle, as Andy Warhol.

Who Goes Home First?

The judges deliberate and it’s fun to see Kelly Osbourne as a judge. All the judges really liked American Symone, as Michelle Obama and so did I. At the end, Jasmia, an American who was John Lennon, and Ashley, the Brit with the Scottish accent, who wasn’t a great Princess Di at all are left standing. It’s Jasmia who gets the boot and Ashley gets another chance.

Who are your favorites and least favorites so far on this season of Top Model?

Sheri Stirrs
Contributing Writer

(Image courtesy of The CW)

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Contributing Writer, BuddyTV