All season long, Tyra has sought to educate her all-stars about how to market themselves. And the lessons, while slightly more complicated in execution, basically boil down to these four simple tenets:
HOW TO MARKET YOURSELF, TYRA-STYLE:1. Personality:
Be the loudest, in your voice, clothing and
Just slap your name on whatever. Then stand behind that crap like you birthed
Pretending you have them is easier than actually learning them.4. Persuasion:
JKT. Just. Keep. Talking.
So, now that we're down to the All-Stars
Final Four, it makes perfect sense that Tyra would design the ultimate challenge in which she will personally demonstrate how to put all four marketing tenets into practice: Tyra will direct the girls in her newest "motion editorial" (that's Top Model
-speak for "batsh*t fake-art-house nightmare montage"), inspired by her novel Modelland
. As we see in the clips below, the experience will truly epitomize everything it means to be a Top Model All-Star.
(Following the insane, knee-jerk vision of a woman who wrote a terrible, derivative teen fantasy book and won't shut up about it.) LET'S TAKE A LOOK!
Preview: Sneak Peek: "Tyra's World Premiere Fashion Film."
America's Next Top Model is available on Amazon Prime.
Is there anything Tyra can't do? Yes! Many things! But she's never let that stop her! Let that be a lesson to us all. Sneak Peek: Tyson Beckford's Abs are Here to Judge You.
How many times has Angelea blatantly lusted after the male models and male judges this season? Girl, you shameless. Tyra has taught you well
Much like that song-writing/music video challenge a few weeks ago, our only hope is that Allison is such a pure, creative spirit that she will be able to outshine Tyra's drivel and actually turn the "motion editorial" into an artistic piece of work. But don't hold your breath on that. Allison can only do so much.
Elsewhere in the episode, the girls are challenged to write a fashion blog post for Vogue Italia
's Franca Sozzani. BLOGGING? AS A CHALLENGE ON A REALITY SHOW? Yessss. That means we're one step closer to the series on which I hope to one day become a star, America's Next Top Reality Show Blogger
, the reality show about blogging about reality shows! (Which, after filming, I would come back here and blog about.)
Away from my dreams and back to the point: "Tyson Beckford" airs Wednesday on the CW at 9pm.(Image courtesy of CW)