The pretty (and pretty dumb) people are back as America's Most Smartest Model struts into its second episode.  Last time. Jesse was a little round in the middle, but he was rather smart and very catty, so he got to stay.  Mandy Lynn was dumb as heck and kind of a porn star, but Ben Stein liked her rack, so she got to stay as well.  And Russian Andre threatened to break everybody in half.

As the models wake up, they are once again thwarted by the trivia locks on the bathroom and fridge.  Andre hints that in Soviet Russia, bathrooms still have locks on the doors.

While chilling at the pool, they get their next Edge challenge assignments, and everyone is paired with a model of the opposite sex.  Andre has no idea who his partner, Lisa is, Blonde Rachel is excited that her partner, VJ, is so sexy (um, sweetie, they're all male models), and Mandy Lynn is topless.  VJ and Blonde Rachel take an encyclopedia and hide it so no one else can use it.

The Edge challenge is "Puzzle Me Pretty," and it's a lot like Jeopardy, only instead of money, you win fashion accessories and hardware (curling irons, cosmetic kits) that they can then use in the photo shoot Callback challenge.  Pickel wins a Dr. and Nurse costume by knowing Au is the symbol for gold.  Mandy Lynn thinks G.O.P. stands for "Governor of Presidents."  Wow.  Brett quickly steals that with the correct answer.

There are so many wonderfully wrong answers it's hard to list them all.  Highlights include: Jesse thinking General Woo runs North Korea and Blonde Rachel simply pointing to the board, then claiming Napoleon's last name is Pierre.  The positive notes include Pickel and Rachael rocking and getting five items, including both hair and make-up, and Daniele once again proving he's probably the smartest person in the house by correctly stating what SCUBA stands for.

Meanwhile, Andre continues to have contempt for his partner Lisa, because she went for lipstick after they already had a cosmetics kit, and meanwhile, they don't seem to have any clothes.  Jesse and Erika don't have clothes either (just a bed and some body paint), which is troublesome because Jesse has the least model-like physique in the house.

The night before the photo shoot, VJ and Blonde Rachel are practicing, also known as foreplay.  Lisa and Andre go outside to hatch a game plan, and he's once again an arrogant Russian, saying he's better than everyone else.  He threatens to break all the Americans who will lose to him.  He's a throwback to the Cold War, the epitome of the evil Russian who wants to destroy American values.

To make sure this photo shoot is all natural, Mary Alice wakes all the models up the next morning and orders them to jump in the pool to get a clean start, then they put on a robe (and nothing else) for their trip to the photo shoot.  And this is why America's Most Smartest Model is the most smartest show on TV: not only is it full of beautiful people, but it will take any opportunity to force them into wearing absolutely nothing.

At the Callback challenge, each team gets one hour of prep time, then just 30 minutes for the photo shoot, which includes time to select the photo they wish to use.  Rachael and Pickel only use the bottoms of their doctor and nurse uniforms, so their picture has them very close to hide her topless rack.  The giant star tattoo on his right shoulder is kind of distracting.  VJ and Blonde Rachel are one gin and tonic away from hooking up, and their chemistry shines with their western wear-inspired photo.  Andre, naturally, takes full control of his shoot, despite the fact that the world-renowned photographer is making fun of his selfishness the whole time.  Jesse needs a lot of work, and it becomes clear that he has no business in this competition because he's not a model.

Time for Mary Alice to critique the photos.  Rachael and Pickel nailed it.  VJ and Blonde Rachel's chemistry shines.  He tries to talk about how beautiful her soul is, and VJ laughs because even he knows that's not why he's attracted to her.  Andre gets a bit of criticism for his perfectionism, but overall, the photo is strong.  Daniele and Mandy Lynn get shot down for a lazy photo of her sleeping on his crotch.  Brett and Angela succeed by using a color photo with a pink rose.  Jesse and Erika have the worst photo because, as he puts it, "Erika's boring and I'm fat."  Rachael and Pickel win, mostly because Mary Alice doesn't approve of violence against women, as Andre's photo featured him strangling Lisa with pearls.

America's Most Smartest Model Elimination Time!  Mary Alice calls the worst two teams to the center, and it's obvious they're Jesse, Erika, Daniel and Mandy Lynn.  Daniel is the smartest and quite attractive, so he's safe.  The judges' incomprehensible love for Mandy Lynn continues and she's safe.  Mary Alice once again criticizes Jesse's fatness and Erika's nonchalance.  Somehow, Erika is eliminated.  What?  I get that Jesse and Mandy Lynn are more entertaining characters for this show, but they clearly have no chance in hell of winning.


Next week on America's Most Smartest Model: Andre wants to fight Daniel, Blonde Rachel wants to have sex with VJ, and Ben Stein wants all the models to eat cake!


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of VH1)