So, Chipps Cooney is obviously moving on tonight, right? Do we really need the full hour to reveal that America has voted him into all four top spots? If you watched the show last night, you know that I am kidding. I'm excited to see who moves forward tonight, though, because this week it isn't as obvious as it was last week. After some banter to make the judges feel more useful, we welcome the first group of three.
The South Philly Vikings, CJ Dippa, and Haspop are out first. I think it will go to Haspop, and I hope it will be anyone but CJ Dippa. Someone needs to knock that kid down a peg. Sharon is "absolutely shocked" about this grouping. Really? CJ Dippa looks worried/constipated, but before our brains explode, Nick Cannon announces that the first spot belongs to Haspop. Go get your white vest and your Bedazzler, this man is about to become a sensation. The South Philly Vikings and CJ Dippa are escorted offstage before we have to see anyone cry.
America's Got Talent is available on Amazon Prime.
The Orville Redenbacher "that's what's poppin'" segment made me a little sad. Ahh the good old days when we could hang out in the green room, filling our stomachs with Movie Theater Butter popcorn. The days when Harmonica Pierre would let you put his mouth on his harmonica and it wasn't an innuendo. Before America made CJ Dippa cry.
Before we can devastate two more acts, The JabbaWockeeZ of America's Best Dance Crew fame (but who also competed on America's Got Talent, apparently) will take the stage. I find it interesting that America's Got Talent subtly knods to the existence of America's Best Dance Crew, while still having the audacity to judge other dance crews on their own lower level. I guess what I'm saying is that if you are a dance crew, you should audition for America's Best Dance Crew because that show exists now. Anyway, the Jabbawockeez were awesome and much, much, better than any of the dance groups in the Top 48. Is it okay to like them even more than our beloved Haspop, or is that talent show treason?
The second group contains Chipps Cooney, Studio One Young Beast Society, and Polina Volchek. This one is way more obvious, it's got to go to the Beast Society (the Young one, of Studio One). Howie tries to make ammends with Chipps Cooney and Piers interrupted him, which I thought was rude and unnecessary. Piers is what CJ Dippa would call "a hater." Studio One Young Beast Society moves forward and it's definitely too late to shorten their name. Good for them, though.
The third group has Debra Romer, The Strange Familiar, and Luigi. This one also feels obvious to me, I think it should go to Debra Romer. My husband HATES this show 80% of the time and he liked Debra Romer so that's saying something. The third spot goes to Debra Romer (yay!). I love her Naughty Sandy pants.
There's something creepy about Mike Posner. Theories?
This is where I get worried. Like, really worried. The last group of three, who the judges will chose from, contains Jeremy VanSchoonhoven, Harmonica Pierre, and Kaya and Sadie. These are three of my favorites, Jeremy VanSchoonhoven and Harmonica Pierre being my top two. I think it should go to Jeremy VanSchoonhoven, but I would absolutely buy a ticket to see Harmonica Pierre perform. He should team up with Hannibal Means, because he won't be on the show anymore.
So the judges will decide between Kaya and Sadie and Jeremy VanSchoonhoven. I think I know which group Howie will vote for. Kaya and Sadie are sexy and tantalizing, whereas Jeremy VanSchoonhoven is kind of dorky and lives on top of a barn. But his act is awesome. I'm just worried about the men outnumbering the women on this vote. But you never know, Piers is British.
Sharon votes for Jeremy, Piers is next and that worries me because they usually do that tie-breaker third vote thing and Howie almost drowned in his drool for Kaya and Sadie. But Piers votes for Jeremy VanSchoonhoven! Amazing! We don't even have to listen to Howie (except he said "Jeremy should go to Vegas and Kaya and Sadie should come to my house" just in case we forgot he's a total creep).
How do you feel about this? Do you agree with "America"? How about the judges? Wipe your tears and sound off in the comments below!
(image courtesy of NBC)