The Third Group of 12 Performs on 'America's Got Talent'
The Third Group of 12 Performs on 'America's Got Talent'
Y'all, we live in the land of the free and the home of the TALENT. It is also the home to our host and one third of the judging panel. Why are there two British people on America's Got Talent? No time to think about that, we have 12 more acts to see.

Up first are the Summerwind Skippers. They are a jump rope team from Idaho. Tonight, they need to be better than "really good." They added dancers for effect, which is almost always a sign of an act that isn't good enough and will only get more confusing. To be fair, though, they have a lot of cool tricks and some I've never seen before. Piers said he enjoyed it, Sharon also thought it was sexy.

The Sh'Boss Boys never been on live TV! You can tell the choreographer was frustrated with them. But they ARE cute. They got little girl dancers! So the Sh'Boss Boys rapped "ABC," rather than singing, and they wore backpacks, and the audience clapped along on the wrong beats. Then they made it modern, but I couldn't understand what they were rapping about. It was cute, and it might even make it through to the next round. It got a little weird when they started talking about what the producers told them to do.

Mauricio Herrera is still here, but I'm still not sure he's in on the fact that he's a joke to the judges. Hey, he lost 19 pounds. This is the one act for which the addition of dancers makes sense. He gave a rousing rendition of "Viva Las Vegas," and Piers gave him a rousing X. Sharon gave him an X next, but Howie is playing this bit to the end. It would be funny if Mauricio knew why it was funny.

I want Seth Grabel to be good because I love magicians and I want to see more on this show. In Vegas, Seth's props dropped so tonight he's risking his life. Seth Grabel has that David Blaine intensity in his eyes, but why the bag over his head? Is that so they can switch him out with someone else? If you spend your time trying to figure it out, you'll never enjoy it. For example, why did a little person come out of the tar cistern with sparklers? Why did he do a round-off handspring at the end? What significance did all the extra props have? WHO CARES--IT'S MAGIC.

Piers still thinks PopLyfe should ditch the band. I disagree. You have to be really good to sing Adele successfully, though, and I'm not sure it was all there. They were rushing quite a bit. The judges gave them a standing ovation, and the audience went wild, which I didn't completely understand. Sharon wants them to go through, and Howie thought it was the best act of the night so far. Huh.

Concluding the first hour is yo-yo guy, Ian Johnson. He's going to be a junior in high school! He's here to prove that the yo-yo can be turned into a Vegas show ... by adding more dancers? I'm not sure what the dancers were doing there (but do they ever make sense?). I'm not sure I could tell if he ever made a mistake, for how little I know about yo-yos, but Piers buzzed him. Aw, come on, Piers! It was so cool. He did drop it at the very end, though, which was a little anti-climactic. Howie thinks Ian Johnson will be the best yo-yo person in the world, but this might be the end of the line for him. I liked this guy until he said he thinks 14 million viewers will think he killed it. He really is a junior in high school.

Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr. takes us into the second hour. He's the guy with dreadlocks who sings like Frank Sinatra. It's almost comical, it's such a surprise. I don't know if he'll make it much further than the initial shock value, but he's really good! Piers says Landau's rehearsal was terrible, but he pulled it together just in time.

Dance group, The Purrfect Angelz, are all besties, former NFL Cheerleaders, and sexy. Sharon think they might be more of an opening act than a headlining act. Can I just issue a little complaint about how they spell their group name now? OK, I'm over it. They're doing that whole sexy cowgirl thing this time, and they added some aerial stuff with a rope and some saddles suspended from the ceiling. I want to hate them, but I don't. Piers might, as he gave them an X toward the end. Howie called it "the best Hooters I've ever been to." Piers doesn't think they have a chance at going through because the talent tonight is so exceptional. That's fair, but no reason to buzz them.

One of the young singers who made it through to the quarter-finals was Monet. She's singing, "Home," and I'm not sure it will make the cut of the "exceptional talent" Piers is heavy on the buzzer for. People are going to compare her to Anna Graceman at this point, and I think I prefer Anna, and her song choice this round. Howie said it was missing passion, but she is adorable nonetheless. Piers compared her, unfairly, to Jackie Evancho, but says he didn't buzz her because he sees promise. Or because she's a little girl and he didn't want to be cruel.

Captain & Maybelle are a danger act that went straight through to Hollywood. It's dangerous and also gross. I'm not sure I want to watch, but I will. They're doing a little 50's, kitchen thing, which is cute. Him swinging a frying pan from his tongue, then her swinging it from her nose, was not so cute. Oh god, then he put hooks in his eyes and lifted a teapot. Ohhh I hate it.

Lys Agnes is another surprising singing talent. She's singing one of the few opera songs most people have heard. It is not to her advantage that Prince Poppycock also performed this last season. Also, those fringey, beaded pants. I'm not totally sure I understand what this act is all about, but she is a good singer. Howie and Sharon liked it, but Piers wasn't moved. I can't wait to see what he's holding out for!

Piers may be saving his praise for Professor Splash, who will, once again, dive (belly flop) into a kiddie pool. He's diving from over 36 feet high. Is it a danger act? A magic act? Is it anything? Piers thinks it's the most incredible act he's ever seen. Maybe he'll add dancers. No dancers, but Nick Cannon helps to make it exciting with some fun facts. Everyone is worried he might die. He jumped and made a very dramatic recovery. What is this, though?! Howie asks how you turn this into an hour-long show, and Professor Splash promises fire. He's a mad man. He will jump through fire INTO fire. So we will vote to see THAT.

Oh man, next week is going to be so awesome. They always stack that fourth show!

(images courtesy of NBC)