The lead up to the show made last week look like some sort of life or death colosseum, and I'm not complaining. I'm also delighted that this week's line-up is pretty loaded with good acts. It's good news for us tonight, and crappy news for us tomorrow night, as we have only four to move forward this week. Why do they always load the last Quarterfinal show like that? It's not fair. At least I'll see some guy get hit in the nuts tonight, right?
The first act of the night is David "The Bullet" Smith
, who will fire himself through a field goal. It looks like the firing of the cannon isn't even the most dangerous part, it's whether or not his net will catch him. Why not just fire yourself into a trampoline? Just kidding, it's a terrible idea. I'm sure NBC's net will hold. We can't have a death so early in the show. He pumps the crowd up with cheerleaders and a football that he doesn't throw. I just hope he clears the goal, right? He did, football in hand! Still yelling! I was concerned, because he almost yelled too soon. We got to see a lot of replays, and everyone will move inside to see the glory of Sharon's long, flowing white dress.
Who is this human bullet, though? An adrenaline junkie? A hopeless romantic? We don't know. He scored the touchdown, though. Sharon suggests alligators on fire, Howie suggests David fire himself out of Nick Cannon. I am for all these ideas, but don't really care whether or not we see him again because I don't care about him as a person, only a human cannonball.
How can All That!
follow that? I don't know that they can with much success. But these bros are gonna try. They're clogging to "Black Betty" tonight, which makes them seem pretty badass for cloggers. I'm still trying to recover from hearing the phrase "competitive clogging world." I wouldn't call this sexy, but it is cool, and I appreciate what they're doing. Sharon suggests leather, oil, and shirtlessness. She just saw Magic Mike
, and she liked it. Howard isn't sure it's enough to get America to vote.Ulysses
is up next, so I guess tonight isn't TOO loaded. Ulysses is wearing a wig tonight, and he's surrounded by dancers. He starts out singing the theme to "American Bandstand," and it's boring. He gets two buzzes from Sharon and Howard. He sang the whole thing, when he should have transitioned into a different song. Just toward the end, Howie buzzed him. Howie didn't like how he "Vegas'd it up." "His toupee's fresh, baby!" Nick Cannon responded comically. Good job, Nick, I wish you'd gotten an Emmy nod.
Oh yes, Joe Castillo
! Why is he so early in the line-up? This is an amazing act. He'd better get mad props for it. He starts with a globe, and the camera has us watching him, but we want to see the screen! This performance is about endangered species, I suppose, with different animals turning red against a globe. In the end, he created a crying eye. So cool. Howard loved it, Sharon's heart was touched, and Howie liked it too. We have to take care of the planet!Sebastien "El Charro de Oro"
sings about "real world experiences." He can't relate to them yet, but that doesn't matter. Tonight he sings "Besame mucho," and I think he would move through any other week, but this quarterfinals is pretty stacked. Sebastien is talented, but I'm just not a mariachi fan. Sebastien started crying, and when Howie asked him why, he said, "Because I'm one step closer to helping my brother." I wonder who told him to say that.
I love Eric Dittelman
, too. Apparently he's just going by Dittelman now, to the judges. I love that he set up a "Deal or No Deal" scenario for Howie. He properly guessed that Howie would choose that case, even after he switched it! I'm amazed, my mind is blown. Great show, Dittelman! I loved it. William Close
and the Earth Heart Collective will turn the entire theater into an instrument in just minutes. He lost everything in a fire, but found the strength to rebuild. He might make instruments better than that guy who plays the shovel does. So yes, this instrument is awesome, but why bring in the singer? Do we know this song? I guess those flower petal type drums are pretty cool. I liked it except for the singing. Sharon said she knew she was in the presence of greatness, and has never seen something on this show on such a professional level. Howard calls it "unbeatable."
The choreographers of Unity in Motion
are hardcore. I'm scared of that woman. They do it all, though, acrobatics, dancing, danger, contortion. If I had to put my money on a dance group, it would be this one, so I see a spot for them in the Wild Card show. Howard loves them, but isn't sure they'll make it through just because the night is so packed.
All we know about Eric & Olivia
is that they are not dating. She's too hot for him. And he's dating someone else. Sure. I don't know that this will be their night, just based on the competition. I think I'm with Howie on this one, it's just too coffee shop for the show at this point. Howard didn't like it, and sees them going home this week.
I am also concerned for Lindsey Norton
, who is just a solo dance act. Last week she would have been great. She is doing a lot more acro this time around, and she has a lot of mirrors so that it looks like there's more of her. She should just join up with Unity in Motion and their terrifying choreographer. Girl's got mad skills, I'll say that! The judges continue harping on the same note: tonight has so much talent, it's just not fair and it will be really hard to choose just four.
Oh my god, I forgot about Horse
. He's always good for a laugh, even though he should absolutely not, under any circumstances, move through. HE HAS KIDS?! Wow, OK, moving on. Tonight he's doing a superhero theme! Oh my god, hilarious. I love this so much. It's still, despite the costumes, his buddies playing around kicking him in the nuts. That's what this act is, and they have done right by America. I hope he gets kicked in the nuts in the Orville Lounge. I love Howie's idea of a Christmas show to The Nutcracker Suite. I would pay to see that around the holidays!
The last act of the night is the dogs! They moved through immediately in Vegas. I lose my sh*t for Olate Dogs
! They're all rescues, the guys are super nice, what's not to love? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my god, I love this so much. The little dog is pushing the big one on the wheel! That one is walking on its front paws! They all go down the slide! There was comedy! The little white one didn't want to go down the stairs and then it rolled out of the way and slid down backwards! I have tears in my eyes I'm so delighted. Which four acts will move on?
It's going to be a tough one to call!(images courtesy of NBC)