That has to be the longest and lamest headline ever, as the insane city-hopping tour that is America's Got Talent
continues its audition phase. Thankfully, this repetitious cluster-fudge of travel is almost over, with only one more hour-long night ahead of us, advertised as the best of the best (so what the hell have we been watching??) before we head off to Las Vegas.
But before we start whittling down the talented portion of the field even further, what was the one act to keep your eye on from Tuesday night's episode? We made stops in Los Angeles, New Orleans and New York City, our third, second and third trips to each city, respectively.
With so much of the talent already seen, we got a lot more bad performers than we have in previous shows. That meant only 12 advancing acts in two hours, and some of them don't have such a rosy future when it comes to the $1 million grand prize.
First up, the easy cuts. Deep breath...
The Fresh Faces dancers/acrobats don't come close to other similar acts, the celeb impressionist did great impersonations but had weak material, Olivia Rox and the hunting kid belong on American Idol, the sword swallowing break dancer can't really break dance well because he swallowed a sword, the hot air balloon chick just did flips and nothing else, kid dancers are always more creepy than talented, 212 Green is essentially a glorified bar band, the video mapping dancers had a cool idea but no dance moves, and don't even get me started on the Tummy Tappers.
That's all but two, and the honorable mention goes to coal miner Marine Jimmy Rose. He's got a great backstory, a smooth and pleasant voice and the emotional connection of chasing his dream. Here's "Coal Keeps the Lights On."
At best, he'll lock up the country vote, but I don't know how many original songs he has or if he's as talented with covers. But he's not as seasoned as the country music vet who I named as the one to watch after the premiere. At worst, he wrote the next anthem for the coal industry. Either way, I think we'll be hearing that song again.
No, our second-to-last "one act to watch" of season 8 comes to us courtesy of some skates and plastic ice. It's extreme acrobatic ice skaters Aerial Ice.
They took something that there's clearly already a market for -- evident with the success and expansion of the Cirque du Soleil franchise -- and added an original twist that differentiates them from similar aerial acts while somehow ramping up the danger from the already inherent insanity that comes with people doing these crazy things in the first place.
They also benefit from the fact that there were three couples simultaneously going at once, including the high-in-the-sky silk dancer, to keep the eyes from getting focused and bored. Paired acrobats, even when they're doing incredible stunts, tend not to go as far as they should because you feel like you're just watching one thing. Also, it gives them more room for creativity because they can switch things around easier.
As long as they can keep up the originality, I think Aerial Ice could stick around until the end. Six acts to watch down, one to go! Check back Thursday for my final pick of season 8 heading into the Las Vegas round.