Chelsea Handler is fond of saying that all the crazy people live in Florida and after watching the Orlando America's Got Talent
auditions, I think she's right. I guess the folks who entertain at the theme parks couldn't get off from work because what we got on the stage was pretty slim pickins.
Nick Pike juggled flaming batons and even a chainsaw but that's not why I like him. I like him because when he dropped a club, he made a joke out of it then moved on. That's the real talent in being a juggler, not keeping the stuff in the air, but keeping the audience with you even when you miss.
Wreckless the dance crew lands in one of my top spots by default, because everyone else was so bad. They have talent, but I thought the routine lacked polish, and no, that's not part of the charm. Have you ever watched America's Best Dance Crew? You can come from the streets and still be sharp and together. Hopefully, they'll step it up for the next round.
Elaine Terranova gets points for guts. She came out and performed an overly enthusiastic number that was surprising for a woman of her size and age but she had no voice! But since they put Mary Ellen through from last night, why not put Elaine through, too?
Jayna Lee said she was there to do a strong woman act and all I can think of is that the judges saw more of her than we did. All we got was Nick standing on her stomach. Okay, but, tha't's not an act. She went through anyway.
Nathaniel Kenyon also got put through and I don't get it. He was a sweet boy who probably can sing a little but his nerves killed him and he no stage presence. The judges saw a spark in him. I didn't.
Jason Pote suffered from another one of those classic AGT big build-ups. He was featured in a package talking about how his mother was a dancer but he only recently realized that he was blessed with the gift. Not so much. He ended up hopping around the stage like a drunken cowboy. Take him home, country roads.
The Morphs, a dance troupe wearing full face-covering colored bodysuits, could have been exciting. They weren't because they were totally out of sync, out of shape and they performed as if it was a joke. Why waste our time?
All in all, one of the worst audition days ever. Frankly, I think NBC is holding out on us.
(Photo: Chris Haston/NBC)