In our least favorite rumor of 2010, word on the web is Howard Stern might replace Simon Cowell on American Idol. There are about, oh lets see, 6 billion people we'd rather see replace Simon than Howard Stern. And I'm pretty sure the censors at FOX feel the same way.

Since 6 billion is a pretty hefty list, we've narrowed it down to five folks we'd much rather see take Simon's place at the judge's table than America's most notorious shock jock.


5. General Larry Platt

No matter who wins season 9 of American Idol, I fear that the only person we'll remember in five years is General Larry Platt. FOX should capitalize on Larry Platt's success, and the fact he's too old to compete on Idol, by opening up a seat at the judge's table for General. I already have visions of an all "Pants on the Ground" themed week dancing through my head.

4. Conan O'Brien

TV's hottest free agent is already in talks with FOX, so they might as well kill two birds with one stone and bring CoCo to Idol.





3. The Worst of the Celebrity Guest Judges: Joe Jonas

Even the nearly mute Joe Jonas would be a preferable replacement for Simon Cowell if Howard Stern is an option. Sure, Joe didn't say much, but he looked pretty and didn't require a 30 second delay from the censors. Plus, Joe's intimate knowledge of the oh-so-desirable Tween market make the possibility of him as an Idol judge more than a punch line.

2. Ryan Seacrest

No joke here. No one knows Idol better than Ryan Seacrest and as a radio host, he has a keen understanding of what it takes to top the charts. If Idol wants a disc-jockey to join the judge's table, it should be Seacrest or no one else. 



1. Seth MacFarlane as Stewie Griffin

He's evil. He has a British accent. Oh my god, he's Simon Cowell in animated form. The problem is, he is animated. But we have the perfect solution for that. FOX has already proven they're willing to let Seth MacFarlane to do just about anything, so set up Seth in a life-sized Stewie costume, sit him at the judges table and let the new king of nasty reign.

Who would you like to see replace Simon Cowell on American Idol instead of Howard Stern?