When You Wish Upon a Star...You Still Can't Sing

Man I really should have made the Disney bet, because they're playing "When You Wish Upon a Star" over looped footage of contestants crying, begging for another chance, all followed with a strange Simon happy-dance. Yes, we always knew the man loved misery.

Jermaine Purifroy

Jermaine auditioned for a season 7 of American Idol and thinks this time might be his lucky night. He's got the judges smiling and he's smiling through his Tony Bennet song ... about smiling. (This audition brought to you by the American Dental Association...SMILE!) But really, Jermaine's auditions is deserving of all the toothy-grins.Jermaine's voice is smooth, sweet, and sincere. It's all oohs and awwws from the judges panel, four yeses and the cursed "2 billion percent yes" from Randy Jackson.

Shelby Dressel

Shelby is the final auditioner for day one in Orlando. She was born with an undeveloped cranial nerve that has left half of her face paralyzed and Shelby (a beautiful girl) very self-conscious. She auditions with Norah Jones' "Turn Me On" which suits her jazzy voice. While Shelby is self-conscious when she speaks, she sings with swagger... right up to the point where she forgets the lyrics. And breaks into a string of curse words. Which the judges love, instead of hating. (Which makes me love the judges.) While Simon says he loves Shelby but not her voice, she still makes it through to Hollywood on the promise of potential.

How does Kristin Chenoweth feel about Jermaine and Shelby's auditions? Gleeful!

On day one, Orlando bested Chicago's total Hollywood tickets by 5: 18 Golden Tickets given out.

For day two of Orlando, Kristin Chennoweth had to be in New York so it will be a three judges panel of Simon, Kara, and Randy. While Kara may be without her best friend, you, lucky readers, will still get the Kristin ratings.

Jay Stone

Jay beatboxes "Come Together" by the Beatles, in a way that makes him sound like he's auto-tuned as well as glitchy electronic -- he sings while still beat-boxing, which defies my understanding of vocal chords. Jay's audition is like Blake Lewis to the Nth degree and on speed. It was an incredible feat, but there was very little singing. Randy brings up the reasonable question -- can you sing and Jay breaks out in "Ain't No Sunshine" which Kara and Randy then beat box to. Poorly might I add. Simon looks ready to kill again. Simon says no, Kara says yes, and Randy sits on the fence for a full minute before giving in and saying yes.

How does Kristin Chenoweth feel about Jay's Beat-boxing? Intrigued.


Good Girls Audition Montage

The best of which was Janell Wheeler's bluesy brooding rendition of  "House of the Rising Sun." (Take note Andrew Felton.) Three more adorable Orlando ladies are heading to Hollywood.

Cornelius Edwards

Cornelius has learned a dance routine from his friends who "dance for money" and he's going to incorporate it into his audition. Simon seems to find this especially intriguing. Cornelius starts off with a straight up audition, but then with no-warning he leaps up and does splits mid air, crashing to the ground..a splitting his pants. Yes, American Idol is now a Saturday Night Live Skit. Apparently those really are stripper moves, because Kara is worried the split is going to expose an eyeful. While I'm positive the judges will laugh Cornelius out of the room, they love it. And he gets three yeses based solely on how hilarious he was. Apparently we're also in an alternate universe.

How does Kristin Chenoweth feel about Cornelius' Audition? Hilarious!

Bernadette and Amdanda DeSimone: Jersey Shore Sisters

Bernadette and Amanda are sisters from New Jersey who work in their mom's salon and they'll be auditioning together. This bodes poorly for at least one of them, if not now, heart-breakingly in Hollywood. Bernadette auditions first, singing "Hit The Road Jack," though to me she seems to speak-sing it rather than belt it out. It's cute but not impressive considering how easy the song is. Amanda's up next and she sings a Whitney Houston song, both DeSimone sister's sing in a way that is completely unremarkable. It's passable karaoke with vocal runs. They're peroxide pageant queens from Jersey and are pleading for their crowns, which Kara loves. Randy says yes to both. Kara says yes to both. Simon gives into the sister love and says yes to them both too. So apparently the DeSimone sisters' will be facing that Hollywood heartbreak - ala the Kasprzaks on So You Think You Can Dance.

How does Kristin Chenoweth feel about the DeSimone's auditions? Completely befuddled by the three yeses they got. (Okay maybe that's me, not Kristin.)


Jared...i.e. Cops Comes to Idol

Jared, who looks like he spends most of his days with the munchies playing video games, says he could be one of the greatest singers ever. This of course means, in Idol speak, Jared couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. Jared's rendition of "Amazing Grace" sounds like a dog growling in pain. Jared says he has to give the performance to God, and I hate to speak for Him, but I don't even think a benevolent omnipresent being wants that Jared. ,

Clearly Jared is going to be told no and clearly, this is when the crazy is going to come out. Kara says "no honey" and Jared loses his mind, begging for two more minutes to prove his greatness, "I'm losing it guys, I'm about to lose it." Maybe it's not just the munchies...Jared is seeming a wee bit twitchy and very agitated and has to be taken out by security. He says he's not leaving on his own and he doesn't mean it in a cutely defiant way, he means it in a scary Hillbilly Heroin kind of way. Jared gets dragged out by Foxes two burliest guys before being taken out in handcuffs.

How does Kristin Chenoweth feel about Jared's Twitchy audition? I will cut a .... basically, had Kristin Chenoweth been there, no security would have been needed.

Matt Lawrence

Last up for the Orlando auditions is Matt Lawrence and he's looking for redemption from Idol. Turns out Matt ran in to some trouble with the Law, for robbing a bank (with a bebe gun no less) when he was 15. Matt looks an awful lot like a bulkier Michael Sarver with a straw cowboy hat and every-thang. Let's seem if Matt can sing...my guess, just one, he'll be doing a country song. Whoops...he'll actually doing "Trouble" by Ray LaMontagne. (You know what they say about assuming....) Trouble is much more blue-eyed soul than country, but I imagine the message must hit home for Matt. Matt just may find redemption from Idol, because he can sing. His voice has raw and rough around the edges, in the best way.The gravel in his sweetened throat adds to the authenticity of his audition and he hits some surprising high notes, all while he is clearly feeling the song. The judges are mesmerized. Simon calls it brilliant saying "it was so believable you could have written that song." Kara (gasp!) completely agrees with Simon. It's three yeses and Simon Cowell says it's the easiest yes he'd given all day. At the end of his audition, when Matt says he's the next American Idol... you almost hope he's right.

How does Kristin Chenoweth feel about Matt's authentic audition? Tears of joy.


31 Orlando Auditioners are heading to Disney West for Hollywood week.

Kristin Chenoweth's Overall Orlando Rating (courtesy of her adorable facial expressions?) Kisses Orlando, she loved you!

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