If anyone needs advice, it's this crop of
American Idol semi-finalists. Luckily, they now have me, their Dear Abbey. All season long, I'll be answering fictional questions from
American Idol contestants with real advice.
Last week, Katelyn didn't take my advice to sex it up ala Casey James and went with a regrettable romper instead, which let's be honest, is always ill-advised. I'm not saying that ignoring my advice cost her a spot in the Top 12, bu t... Didi Benami did take Dear Abbey's advice and she's in the Top 12. If that's not proof, well, I don't know what is. I kid, I kid. Kind of. So Lee, Siobhan and Crystal, take my advice, or you could be the fan favorite getting cut tomorrow night.
Dear Abbey,
How do I avenge the loss of my Idol BFF, Alex Lambert? - Siobhan Magnus Dear Sweet Siobhan,
Win.
Sincerely Rooting For You, Dear Abbey
Dear Abbey,
If I don't smile, people say I'm mean, ungrateful and rude. If I do smile, people make fun of my teeth and scream about going to the dentist. What do I do? - Crystal Bowersox Dear Dreads,
Welcome to the life of a front-runner, where you just can't win even if you do. From here on out, no matter what you do, it is going to piss a lot of people off. That's the price of greatness, my dreaded princess.
So, Dear Abbey says: be true to yourself. Show off those crooked, yellow teeth if you feel like smiling. Keep them coyly hidden if you're feeling self-conscious. What matters most, whatever the haters or the lovers say, is that you're talented, truthful and above all, that you can live with yourself in the wake of
Idol. Don't sell yourself short because people think you're not a shiny, happy enough person or because you'll never be a toothpaste model.
Love You Just The Way You Are, Dear Abbey
Dear Abbey,
How do I make the jump from underdog to front runner? - Lee Dewyze Dear Underdog,
It's quite simple really: sing an entire two minute song on key. After that, find a personality. Lastly, make the camera your friend, not your lover. That means: smile at the camera and the crowd, but enough of the lusty looks. They only further the "you're trying to pick up on my girlfriend with that Hinder song aren't you?" vibe you have going on.
Now get on with it.
Yours, Dear Abbey