American Idol

Paula Abdul is not good at her job.  This is non-negotiable.  There are millions upon millions of American Idol fans, though you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who disagrees with the above statement.  Abdul has consistently under-performed, been a source of comedy and ridicule, and has endured a multitude of embarrassing moments on national television in front of the biggest audience in the world.  Her most recent, and highly-publicized, misstep occurred last week when she critiqued a performance during the live American Idol broadcast she had only seen during dress rehearsal.  It was a bizarre moment, though I didn't find it as big of a deal as others.  Some are calling for her head, saying that the mistake is grounds for termination.  In a vacuum, it wasn't that big a deal, and she should not be removed from American Idol simply for that one instance.  What people seem to be over-looking, however, is that this latest flub is just one in a series of incidents that have shown Abdul to be an inept employee, one not qualified for her job and a person whose continued employment by TV's number one franchise is baffling. 

I like Paula Abdul.  She's not a bad person.  She's sweet and has good intentions.  But, so do a lot of people who aren't paid millions of dollars to judge a high-stakes talent show.  When discussing someone's job performance, it's impossible to not be cold-hearted.  It doesn't make me feel good to rip Paula to shreds, but she just isn't very good at her job.  She's a walking punchline.  Paula can barely make cogent points, she just rambles and rambles.  Her forte is blind praise – this is easily replaceable.  Can you remember the last time Paula gave anything resembling constructive criticism?  I can't. 

Why, then, is she still on the air when most anyone would agree that there are countless others who are potentially light years better at her job than she?  Simon Cowell clearly has a lot of pull.  As arguably the biggest star in the American Idol world, Cowell can call in favors – he's reportedly fought for Paula's job (and won) on more than one occasion.  This is problematic.  Simon Cowell, being a reasonably intelligent fellow, has to know that Paula is nonsensical and unnecessary.  She brings more to the table personally to Cowell than she does on a macro level to America.  We know Cowell is an egotist (or, at least he plays one on TV), but is he really so selfish that he'd prefer friendly ineptitude over the quality of his own show?

In previous years, the refrain was the always reliable “If it ain't broke, don't fix it” song and dance.  And, really, that's difficult to argue with.  Despite Paula's obvious shortcomings, FOX and Cowell and Randy Jackson could convince themselves that Paula has a mystical connection with America, that her presence was somehow a boon to American Idol, incomprehensible as her attraction might be.  This is faulty (but usable) logic – greatness is pliable.  American Idol, even with its otherworldly success, was always capable of wholesale improvements.  Not replacing Paula Abdul earlier has only made things more complicated, and will only make Paula's (hopefully) inevitable departure more painful. 

The recent slip in ratings for American Idol may provide FOX with the perfect opportunity to serve Abdul her walking papers.  FOX has already made it clear that they are looking to make major changes for American Idol 8.  Dismissing Paula should be one of their first steps.  FOX, as a company, will not have any problem with this – they are not attached to their personnel.  Cowell is still probably the biggest road block in Paula's departure.  With the ratings-dip ammunition, FOX and 19 Entertainment should have an easier time convincing him that Paula leaving is the right move. 

Another thing: if Simon and Paula are such good friends, which they purport to be, why would Simon insist on Paula staying and continuing to embarrass herself?  If you love someone, set them free, right?  Paula has enough money, her name will always be synonymous with American Idol, and FOX's PR people can concoct a story in which Paula leaves on her own to pursue other endeavors.  It would be a clean break, painless, and to the benefit of all. 

I'm tired of the nonsense.  Of the rambled, contradicting points.  It's painful watching someone to whom you feel no malice towards act like an idiot on national TV over and over again.  Please, don't interpret this whole article as a big “Eff You” towards Paula.  I have no hatred for her at all - it's mostly pity.  Paula's like the horse Eight Belles from Saturday's Kentucky Derby: she's past the finish line, she's already broken both of her ankles – now it's just time to put her out of her misery.


-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of FOX)