American Idol

Although I mentioned it in the Live Thoughts earlier tonight, I'd like to extend my thoughts on Paula Abdul.  Our favorite former Laker Girl has endured a few rough and tumble years as of late, often acting bizarre and sometimes downright insane whilst participating on the biggest television show in the universe.  She was almost fired at one point, her reality show made her look plain awful, she's appeared loopy/intoxicated during episodes and just last year she gave that crazy, maybe drugged out of her mind TV interview.  It's not that I just wasn't a fan – it was that I didn't understand her continued roller coaster involvement on the show. But, somehow, incredibly, she's appeared to have turned things around this season.  I didn't notice it last night, but tonight it became clear: Paula Abdul is the best she's ever been.  Her commentary and criticisms have been valid, she's been totally lucid, her banter with both her fellow judges and the contestants has been entertaining, and all the while I feel like I'm living in an alternate universe.  What the hell is going on?  I don't know, but let's enjoy it while it lasts.

Tonight, the American Idol audition tour moseyed on down to Dallas, Texas where we got our usual mix of weirdos, nut cases and genuine un-pilfered talent.


The Good (all going to Hollywood):

Jessica Brown:

Mother of two, stay at home mom, and...former meth head.  Meth is a crazy drug, people, and it's astonishing the toll it takes on normal people in such a short amount of time.  We saw pictures of Jessica during her meth phase and they're astonishing.  Anyway, Jessica has a nice voice and she's heading to Hollywood.

Alaina Whitaker:

Alaina is a very attractive Carrie Underwood lookalike, who is very, very confident in her abilities.  It's partly deserved, too, as she showed us in the audition.  Alaina has the makings of a top 24 finalist who'll be eliminated before America gets to know her.

Pia Easley:

Pia is a striking human: tall, African American woman with a Mohawk and an indefinable charisma.  She's got a great bluesy, Tracy Chapman-esque voice and the judges all really responded to her.

Brandon Green:

Nice guy who randomly has decided to keep a collection of his old fingernails.  That bit of weirdness aside, he sings with a nice, subtle twang.  He's likable and could possibly end up striking a chord with audiences.

Kayla Hatfield:

Energy in a bottle.  She is electrically peppy, bordering on the edge of annoying, but saves herself with some genuine decency.  I don't think she should have made it to Hollywood, but such is the randomness of Simon Cowell.  He'll inexplicably promote a singer on the basis of personality , when sometimes the voice is light years behind. 

Kady Malloy:

Best of the night, best of the season so far.  She is a lock for the top 24.  18, incredibly hot, with a great, great voice and an easy confidence that's nowhere near arrogant.  She also fancies herself a great vocal impressionist, a claim I would find dubious if she hadn't ripped off an impeccable Britney Spears imitation that was bordering on creepy. 

Kyle Ensley:

Nerdily likable (and yes, I know that “nerdily” isn't a word...until I made it up right there), Kyle is a college student with dreams of becoming a politician.  He certainly dressed the part: shirt, tie, academic glasses.  His singing wasn't all that impressive, but he showed some heart and is damn likable.

Colton Swon:

Colton is a rocker dude and, as Simon stated, he's a dime a dozen when it comes to bar bands.  He got his ticket to Hollywood though, so we'll see if he can rise above the fray.

Drew Poppelreiter:

A down home farmer who has never been on a plane.  He's the real deal farmer, but his audition wasn't all that impressive.  He does some old time George Strait style country, low-voiced.  The judges talk themselves into it, however, and he's through. 

Nina Shaw:

Nina can sing, and I was astounded the judges weren't as high on her as I was.  Great retro-soul voice.  Simon said no, but the others said yes.


The Bad

Paul Stafford:

Nice guy who is a park attendant.  Terrible at singing but the judges loved him so much that they let him down real easy.

Beth Maddocks:

She's a singing fondue waitress (Really?  There's fondue restaurants in Texas where the wait staff sings?  What the hell is wrong with Texas?) who has a disgustingly shrieky voice.  Just gross.  The judges laid the smack down.

Bruce Dickson:

Ugh.  Bruce and his father made a pact when he was young that Bruce would not engage in relations with women until he gets married.  And by relations, I mean nothing more than holding hands (though it wasn't clear if even this was allowed).  Bruce has never kissed a girl.  He has a key that he wears around his neck.  His father wears a heart.  It's a symbol – when he finds the one girl in the world for him and he marries her, then he can unlock her heart...or something.  His first kiss will be at the altar – if he can find a girl who doesn't mind not being kissed during courtship (or do anything else for that matter).  Anyway, his voice isn't awful, but the judges were all appalled by his lack of kissing and seemed to want nothing more to do with him.  Ditto for me.

Angela Martin:

Angela sung like she was making fun of somebody in a high school musical.  Excess energy, snapping, jazz hands...enough to make you want to fly down to Anaheim and strangle Mickey Mouse. 

Kyle Reinneck:

Kind of a weirdo.  Good guy, he's a school counselor for little kids, but he fancies himself a rocker, though he wears eyeliner.  A lot of it.  Only crappy bands like Good Charlotte wear eyeliner these days.  He's not very good, way too intense and he's genuinely taken aback when the judges say as much. 


The Baffling

Gregory and Miley Tobias:

This creepy brother/sister combo sung an incomprehensible Italian opera duet.  Need I say more?  OK, one more thing – dude had a ponytail.

Douglas Davidson:

This is the guy from the promos who had to be escorted out.  The weirdness was almost overwhelming here.  He's a Christina Aguilera disciple and he once heard her say that you have to take extra special care of your voice or you could damage it forever.  So, of course, that means Dougie has to warm up his pipes.  A lot.  He brings in water to the audition and begins by warming up, with grunting and yelling, with his back turned to the judges.  When he started singing is sounded like someone wearing Doc Marten's was kicking a walrus.  He keeps singing even when the judges tell him to go.  He won't accept defeat and keeps singing, even when security escorts him out. 

Tammy Tuzinski:

Tammy may have been dropped on her head when she was young.  Either that or she sniffed a lot of Mr. Sketch markers.  Something is clearly off.  She barely speaks and she barely sings and all the while remains a vacuum of human emotion. 

Renaldo Lapuz:

The Pimp Wizard.  Wearing an all white outfit, with a fur coat, a cape and a top hat with Simon's name labeled on the front, Renaldo is a Simon fanatic.  He worships at the Altar of Cowell.  He wrote a song in his honor called “We're All Brothers”.  His audition ended the episode and, really, it was engaging television.  The song was bombastic, even a little catchy (bad, but catchy) and by the end everyone was singing along.  Paula was dancing, Randy brought in Seacrest to witness the phenomenon and it culminated in a hug from Simon Cowell.  We're all brothers, indeed.


-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of FOX)


Check out EW’s recap of this episode