The Top 9 is, as The Beatles sang, "getting better all the time." With the help of the songs of John Lennon and (mostly) Paul McCartney, the Top 9 turned in the best performance show of the season last night
Unfortunately for one American Ido
l contestant, it will be too little too late and they'll be given their "Ticket to Ride" tonight. Unless of course, the judges use the save and hopefully follow my lead with the Beatles puns and say something like "America said Goodbye, but we say Hello." (C'mon Ellen is TOTALLY using that line if they judges use their save tonight.) Yes folks, me and the Beatles puns will be here all night, as we
welcome the return of the Idol
prodigal son, Rihanna and Kara's "big
artist," who I have never heard of. So watch along with me won't you? We'll learn together who'll survive to be mentored by Adam Lambert next week and who'll Watch along with me tonight as we learn who'll survive to be mentored by Adam Lambert next week
and who'll cry instead.
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Of course, we have our predictions
about who'll be heading home tonight. And then we have who we hope will be sent packing:
Let's find out if it's our predictions or our hopes that come true tonight, shall we?
Ryan Seacrest starts out the night on what could be an ominous note ... or just the angry Leprechaun pulling our chain again. He says we should prepare ourselves for a surprise or two tonight .... last time he said that Lilly Scott and Alex Lambert were both sent packing. That makes me think that Tim Urban will indeed be safe and someone else will be heading home ... but who?
Before we get to the serious business of tonight we have the sometimes weekly group lip sync, I mean song.
Top 9 Group Song: Lennon/McCartney Medley
For tonight's group song, Idol
has decided to make a medley with a bunch of Lennon/McCartney songs that they should have done last night instead of repeating what's already been done on the Idol
stage. The medley included: "In My Life," "Got To Get You Into My Life,"
"Fool on a Hill", "All You Need is Love," "She Loves You," and "In The End."
It is by far the least bubblegum and cringe worthy group performance of the season. What can I say, these kids really are
getting better all the time. And hopefully the surprises were promised tonight just come in the group song, because it did feature a few. Most notably, Casey James proving he does indeed have a higher range he's kept hidden and that Kara has been begging for.This Week's Freaky Ford Commercial
Featuring kaleidoscope visions of the Top 9 and their Ford Focus.
This week's commercial is supposedly channeling the psychedelic side of the Beatles, I'm sure. And I'm also sure that as actual free-spirits, the Beatles would have absolutely loved that spirit being subverted for product placement ... Schilling for The Man is groovy!
Now that we're done with the all important, product placement, lets get down to the first round of results. Results Round #1
After some serious Ryan f-uppery, where he plays a little dog and pony show with the three ladies, dragging them to the center of the stage and pretending like they are all in danger, we learn that ...
Siobhan Magnus is SAFE
Crystal Bowersox is SAFE
Katie Stevens is SAFE
So it won't be a lady heading home tonight and Ryan Seacrest just wasted about 5 minutes of my life I will never get back.
Before we get back to the real reason we're here (the results) there's more product placements ... I mean, performances.
Guest Performer #1: Jason Derulo
Jason Derulo, is Kara's protege and according to Seacrest he has two huge songs ... and according to me, he can't sing. That doesn't matter though, because being Kara's protege gets you two songs on Idol and the ability to raid Adam Lambert's wardrobe from last year.
Leave it in the closet Jason, because Adam will be back next week.
Guest Performer #2: David Archuleta
Now for someone who can actually purportedly sing ... David Archuleta. Tonight Archie will be performing John Lennon's Imagine for the fourth time on the American Idol stag. And while doing so, he'll pretty much embarrass every member of season 9, with undeniably beautiful vocals. Katie Stevens and Aaron Kelly take note of this: this is exactly what you're trying to do and failing. David Archuleta just relied on his voice alone and succeed. Hater's hate on, but Archie delivered the goods tonight in a way few season 9 contestants have.
Results Round #2:
Seacrest hosts another dog and pony show, by diving the guys into two groups: those that will be safe and those that will be in the Bottom Three. Of course, as soon as Casey James joins Lee Dewyze in one group, the gig is up and we know it's the other group who will be in the bottom three ... and it's filled with brand new faces.
Mike Lynche: BOTTOM THREE
Aaron Kelly: BOTTOM THREE
Andrew Garcia : BOTTOM THREE
Lee Dewyze: SAFE
Casey James: SAFE
Tim Urban: SAFE
So, who called it about Tim Urban being safe? Also, way to switch it up America, not a single one of these guys have ever been in the Bottom Three. And clearly I wasn't the only person who hated Big Mike's big changes to Eleanor Rigby.
However, only one of these folks will be singing for their life and it is not Aaron Kelly who is SAFE.
(WHOA ... did not call that one.)
So it will either be Mike Lynche or Andrew Garcia who is eliminated tonight. My bet is Andrew Garcia or no one, because the judges will use their save for Big Mike. And yes, you can quote me later on that if it happens.
But before we get to that, we have one last guest performer:
Guest Performer #3: Rihanna
After Jason Derulo got first pick, it appears that Rihanna may have ALSO raided Adam Lambert's wardrobe from last season ... and borrowed his hairstylist:
Sigh. I wanted to love Rihanna, but she lost me as soon as she sang the lyrics "oh baby I'm a rock star" and head banged like a stripper, instead of say, an actual rock star. Saying you're a rock star and wearing pleather does not a rock star make ... neither does strapping on a Flying V as a prop. (In fact, that's pretty close to sacrilege.) Give that thing to Casey James, who might actually know how to use it, and step away Rihanna.
With that disaster done and only 10 minutes left, it's time for the actual results.
SINGING FOR THEIR LIFE: BIG MIKE LYNCHE
Whoa, that is a shock Seacrest. Not at all shocking, Big Mike will be performing "This Woman's Work" in hopes of swaying the judges to use that save. It's a brilliant song choice for Big Mike, not only was it his best performance by far, the song also packs a serious emotional wallop. If the judges' don't save him, they'll still be sobbing by the end of it ... at least Kara DioGuardi will.
But my guess is the judges won't just be sobbing and they will use the save on Big Mike. Because Big Mike legitimately sings for his life, he keeps the antics at bay and delivers his best performance on Idol thus far. Plus, something exciting and controversial desperately needs to happen on American Idol and this could be it.
As the judges' deliberate, the audience cheers for Big Mike and in my dream world, they also start an Anti-VFTW chant. Amidst the audience antics, the judges have made their decision. Simon says that he wishes Big Mike had sung like he just had during the performance show because he wouldn't have been in the Bottom Three, but that doesn't matter, because ....
THE JUDGES SAVED BIG MIKE
Do you agree with the judges' use of the save? Or did the judges waste it? Be sure to join the discussion.
So Big Mike is back and that means two people will be eliminated next week, even if one of those people are named Crystal Bowersox, Lee Dewyze or Casey James. Hopefully that's not the case ... hopefully at least one of those people being eliminated will be Tim Urban.
Of course, we have no idea what Big Mike and the rest of the Top 9 will be performing, because Seacrest never spilled the theme. Any guesses on what Adam Lambert will be mentoring them on? Glam Rock? David Bowie Week? Hit songs by former Idols?
And there you have it. The one thing I can say for sure about tonight is: Seacrest wasn't lying, for once. The results were shocking and they just may have made season 9 of American Idol interesting
(Image Courtesy of FOX)