American Idol: Sanjaya to appear on our own Top Ten list
Sanjaya Malakar is a pretty big deal.  You can't go anywhere without hearing a Sanjaya reference, or seeing an appeance by the Amercan Idol teenager himself.  Saturday Night Live had a Sanjaya parody in this weekend's opening monologue.  Surya from The Apprentice: LA had an extremely lame Sanjaya joke on last night's live finale.  And, tonight, Sanjaya himself will appear on the Late Show with David Letterman to recite the top ten list.  The whole Sanjaya phenomenon has received a preposterous amount of media coverage, but I'm interested to see where it goes from here.  How long will Sanjaya remain in the public eye?  Will he be an afterthought in a few weeks' time?  Or, like so many of his supporters have intimated, will he go on to be a teen idol?

The silliness of it all makes me believe that Sanjay's fifteen minutes will soon be coming to an end.  I just can't envision him making and selling a record, appearing on TRL and going on tour.  It seems unfathomable.  However, he does seem to have a loyal fan base who are willing to overlook his glaring inadequacies as a singer.  I have no doubt that he'll be signed to a recording contract, and that whichever company he strikes a deal with will want to cash in on his current level of fame by cooking up an album as quickly as possible.

If the media keeps viewing him as an actual commodity, rather than the oddity he truly is, who knows what will become of him?  Sanjaya is the most famous/infamous contestant on this season's Idol and that just might make him, weirdly, its most marketable.  Getting a slot on Letterman is indicative of this, and an example that Sanjaya might be willing to poke fun at himself.  If this is the case, and he decides not to take himself as seriously as he seemed to while on the show, it could do wonders for his future in the business.

Anyway, in honor of Sanjaya's appearance on Letterman tonight, here is my list of Top Ten Possible Top Ten Categories for Sanjaya Malakar to recite on The Late Show:

(Remember, Sanjaya himself will be reciting the list, so pretend it’s him saying them.)

10. Top Ten Rejected Hairstyles

(Example: “Party Mullet”)

9. Top Ten Irrational Rationales for Voting for Me

(Example: “I hate good singing”)

8. Top Ten Homoerotic Moments between Seacrest and I

(Example: “That time Seacrest stared longingly into my eyes for ten seconds on national telelsvision.”) Author’s Note: this actually happened.  Twice.

7. Top Ten Things Dave and I have in common

(“We both spend two hours on our hair everyday.”)

6. Top Ten Simon Cowell Insults Overheard Backstage

(Example: “My grandmother could fart a better version of The Kinks ‘You Really Got Me.’")

5. Top Ten Alcoholic Beverages Smelled off of Paula Abdul's Breath

(Example: “Moonshine”)

4. Top Ten Ways for Federal Way, WA (Sanjaya's hometown) to celebrate my fame

(“The Sanjaya Malakar Pony-Hawk Waterslide at Wild Waves.”)

3. Top Ten Reasons I'm better than Melinda Doolittle

(Example: “Does Melinda make little girls cry?”)

2. Top Ten Pick-Up Lines my Sister has heard while working at Hooters

(Example: “You’re almost as pretty as your brother.”)

1. Top Ten Ways I plan on Conquering the World of Music

(Example: “Three words:  Sanjaya - The Musical”)

-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer

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