takes its audition train down into Southern California tonight, but this year it isn't Los Angeles, it's San Diego. I applaud this decision. I've been to San Diego dozens of times and know, for a fact, that the city is full of delusional human beings. And, isn't that what Idol wants out of these audition episodes? It doesn't hurt that lots of these delusional San Diegons look great in a bikini either. It's a great city, and let's hope we get to see some real talent tonight, along with your typical brain dead debacles. We'll be here all night giving live updates on the action.
A couple of old dudes welcome us to tonight's American Idol is a very senile fashion. Old people - man, they are slow. Am I right?
12,000 hopefuls lined up in San Diego for the Idol auditions.
First in line is Tetiana Ostapowych. She's definitely of Eastern European origin, and she's got a nice voice. Good looking too. She's pretty arrogant and Simon doesn't like her much. Despite that, they all let her into the Hollywood rounds.
Next up is a single father with a young child. His wife died recently and now he's here to sing. Perrie Cataldo is the man's name. He sings "I'll Make Love to You" by Boyz II Men. I don't think he's all that great, he seems a little out of control. The judges all love him though, and he's through.
After the break, some crazies!
Michael Johns is originally from Australia and he has a dreamy accent. If you ladies like that sort of thing. He sings some Otis Redding and he kicks some ass. Most impressive male audition so far. He's a white soul singer, and I see goof things in his future.
Three people who suck! What up?
Valerie Reyes is an airhead. "Oh my gosh. Mariah Carey...she's my girl." They're setting her up to be a good audition, but I guarantee she sucks. She's not horrendously awful, but she makes these awful guttural sound. She also tries to do the really high Mariah stuff and it's embarrassing. She thinks she killed the audition, but the judges bring her back down to earth. Devastation washes over her face and it's delicious, like the tears of orphans. Sorry, that was evil. It's delicious, like cheese fries.
Joseph and Juanita Mejia perform an interesting act. One of the brothers only mimes the song ,the other wears a caballero outfit and sings. Not horribly, but the gimmick is stupid. Or awesome. I'm not sure.
Monique Gibson is terrible, as she sings some Whitney. Nothing special about her awful-ness. She won't stop, though. At the end, she starts crying. She can sing! She believes she can sing, people! She knows she can sing!
Her friend, Christopher Baker, is up next. He is tone deaf. He also won't stop singing. Stop singing, dude. He believes he sounds good. Security escorts him out. Monique and Chris talk some smack to the cameras on their way out.
Last contestant of day one loves Simon. She thinks he's hot. Her sister sends Simon a note and asks to come in. SImon invites her in to help judge the audition. Samantha Musa is actually a really good singer. She drops some Aretha. This is a pleasant surprise. The judges all give her a yes, including the sister. Aww, that was fun.
Day two: let it begin.
Blake Boshnak has auditioned in ten cities since season 3. In season 5, he wore a Statue of Liberty costume and got bounced after a few lyrics. His mom is very supportive because she looooooves American Idol. Worst stage mom ever. He sings "Stand By Me" and it's not awful. They all give him a no.
Sarah Long might be a little slow. She sounds like a little child. Randy compares her to Mr. Hung.
Crazy Fat Hippie is up next. He might be putting on a show for everyone. If not, he's completely insane. He says he is obsessed with Idol. He brings in an over-sized novelty fan with American Idol written on both sides. The CFH says he's very shy. He wrote his own song called "Live." Alberto Hurtado is his name. He sings very softly. It's bad. I wonder if he's related to ex-Seattle Mariner relief pitcher Edwin Hurtado. It's possible that I'm bored. His mom, after the audition, says that, among other things, he has "floral" talent. Pu that on the resume!
Aaron Garrett is a weirdo in dreadlocks. He's singing like a hippie techno beat or something.
David Archuleta is a sixteen year old dude who, a couple years ago, suffered from some crazy vocal paralysis. He has a paralyzed vocal cord. He opted not to have some risky surgery, but he talks with a bad rasp still. He's really good, especially for a youngster. He forgot some of the words, but whatever. The judges like him and send him through.
Only one more contestant. An Irish girl, Carly Smithson, is back to audition again. She auditioned two years ago and got through to Hollywood, but she was disqualified because her visa didn't come in in time. Paula is a little crazy. Simon didn't think it was as good as two years ago. They all say yes, and she's going back to Hollywood.
31 total people from San Diego made it to Hollywood.
And that's it, folks. We'll have a full recap up later tonight.
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