Like stink on a hobo, the week of reckoning is upon us.  By Thursday night, American Idol's Top 36 will be whittled down to an easily digestible dozen.  We already know half the Top 12's entrants (Danny Gokey, Alexis Grace, Michael Sarver, Allison Iraheta, Kris Allen and the now infamous Adam Lambert), and after tonight's American Idol performance episode, the voting populous will be charged with selecting three more members of that esteemed Top 12.  For tonight, it's hard to know who will emerge as the favorites.  Scott McIntyre (the blind guy) will surely have American hearts at his service, while Lil Rounds has been pimped by the judges since Day 1.  Von Smith sang on Rosie O'Donnell's show once and, if he somehow advances, may just be the second coming of Sanjaya Malakar.  Whatever happens, let's just hope that tonight's singers are good.  They've had a couple of extra weeks to prepare and learn from the Top 36 brethren, and should therefore probably be better than the first two groups.  Join me, humans, as I inject two-hours worth of live thought jelly into the donut of your brains.  It will be fun, it will be messy, and I will spend a few hundred words ruminating on Von Smith and his rampant scumbaggery.  Enjoy.

American Idol 8: Top 36, Final 12 - Episode in Review
American Idol 8: Top 36, Final 12 - Performance Rankings
American Idol 8: Adam Lambert Has Photos of Him Kissing Another Guy. Errr...

The performers tonight will be Scott McIntyre, Von Smith, Felicia Barton, Taylor Vaifanua, Kristen McNamara, Kendall Beard, Junot Joyner, Jorge Nunez, Arianna Afsar, Alex Wagner-Trugman, Nathaniel Marshall and Lil Rounds.

All righty - two hours of American Idol Glory.  I'm ready.  The Filet-o-Fish Sandwich from McDonalds - does anybody actually eat this?

Ryan Seacrest has decided to get professional - he's all tucked in tonight.  Way to grow up, sir.  The Final 12 all had somber looks on their faces while standing on the stairs like a bunch of mutant Bradys.  Seacrest gives us the business, introduces us to the first six in the top 12, and then talks to the judges.  Paula is once again rocking the huge hair.  Simon advocates having a Simon Cowell week, in which Simon picks all the song choices. 

Von Smith is looking douchey already, as is Nathaniel Marshall.

Oh god, we're starting with Von Smith.

Von Smith - “You All I Need to Get By” by Marvin Gaye

I love this song, but not when sung by Von Smith.  To his credit, he starts the song out without the vocal olympics we're used to from Von.  He has seriously toned down his act from the auditions.  Still, Von struggles when singing softly, presumably because he's not used to doing it. Von still does a lot of annoying facial and physical stuff while performing, but...and I hat to say this, but that was actually all right.  I didn't love it, or really like it, but I think that's the about the most I could possibly enjoy Von Smith. 

Randy loved it, called it a “hot performance.”  Kara loves him too - god, I think the judges have decided to slurp him.  Paula says "What I love about you is it's hard to go first..." In what universe does that make sense.  Simon says that Von looks appalling, but that he enjoyed the song.  He reminds Simon of Clay Aiken.  Just call him gay, Simon, and get it over with.

Taylor Vaifanua - "If I Got You" by Alicia Keys

Taylor is the Tall Girl.  She's 17 and about six foot tall.  I'm going to go out on a short limb here and predict a train wreck.  Taylor seems like a nice girl, but I fear for the worst.  Taylor's got a nice lower, soft voice.  Not terrible.  However, it's completely underwhelming, boring and by the middle of the song she begins to start singing way out of tune.  The chorus starts, and she just doesn't have the power.  Really mediocre, but not a train wreck.  She IS tall, however, so good for her.

Kara thought the performance was OK.  She knows Taylor has a voice, but she doesn't know who Taylor is.  Paula like Taylor, but perplexed.  Life complicated.  Simon and Kara banter a bit.  Simon says that he could not remember Taylor from the earlier rounds – he calls it generic, bland, forgettable.   Randy gets cut off by the Idol music.  He eventually says his piece – boring.  Taylor sheds tears of joys, according to her.  I think their tears of complete and utter fear.  Ryan takes a dig at Simon's t-shirt, something that I think we all appreciate.  After the break, Alex Wagner-Trugman hits the stage.

Question during the break: Did Simon convince the producers to put Von Smith first, because he hates Von?  Discuss.

Alex Wagner-Trugman - "That's Why They Call it the Blues"

Alex is the tiny bit awkward, nerdy guy, but with a good sense of humor.  He pokes fun at himself during his mini-interview with Ryan.  Alex does some terrible dancing, but sounds OK at the beginning.  He goes into a really weird, cloying growl at one point.  And he does it again.  I've changed my mind about Alex.  I wanted to like him, but he's trying way too hard here.  He's really forcing all this yelling.  The last bit of the song, it actually worked, but the first three-quarters were a bit awkward. 

Paula make joke at Cowell's expense.  Simon calls his growling ridiculous.  Simon says "you're like a little hamster trying to be a tiger."  That is a surprisingly apt analogy.  Simon didn't like it.  Randy's vest is awful.  Randy didn't like the screaming of the song.  Kara says the positive thing is that "at least you do you."  Paula like way Alex dance. 

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