I think we can all pretty much agree that last night's American Idol was the worst audition episode of the season, and it will probably remain as such.  Very little talent, not much in the way of enjoyable outcasts, and way too much time spent on bickering between judges.  According to some reports, only about 6,000 people turned up for the American Idol auditions in San Francisco, far less than what most cities receive, which makes the lack of talent/crazy people easier to understand.  Allow me to drop a conspiracy theory on your faces - Idol purposely aired the worst audition episode of the season last night because they knew the inauguration festivities would steal viewers away.  Or, how about this even crazier conspiracy theory (also can be dropped on your face): American Idol knew that one of the audition episodes this season would air on inauguration day, so they purposely went to a city (San Francisco) that they knew would have little interest in Idol auditions so they would have a sub-par episode to air during the inauguration. 

Anyway, I will be here throughout tonight's hour of Southern-fried auditions, wearing a fedora, drinking a Mint Julep, whipping my pet horse with a stick, and shooting live thought lasers into your unsuspecting eyes.


Tonight's audition episode is taking place at Churchill Downs in Lousiville, Kentucky.  It's where the horsies run.  It's where the Kentucky Derby takes place.  It's probably the coolest venue that Idol has ever been to.  And, if the opening montage is any indication, there should be a number of lovely Southern Belles on hand. 

11,000 contestants showed up.  The judges arrive in their towncars to a horn salute. 

Tiffany Shedd is a tall blonde, not attractive, whose parents thinks she's just the bee's knees.  Her hair isn't real, and she's very confident.  (Kara DioGuardi, by the way, is looking lovely tonight).  Tiffany is tone deaf.  Simon calls her a donkey.  Tiff ain't happy.  She cries in her parents arms.  She sings again, in the halls on the way out.  It's hard to imagine people are this delusional.

23-year-old Joanna Pacitti has been trying to make it in the music business since she was 16.  She's also quite hot.  Her mom is there for support.  Kara recognizes her, remembers her from a record company.  She sings a Pat Benetar song.  She's got a strong, standard pop voice, good control, subtle, likable.  She gets four yeses. 

Mark Mudd is a 25-year-old dude with a shaved head who looks like he's 45.  He says he's almost died five times, due to car accidents.  He's a good ol' boy.  He sings aggressively with a notable twang.  He's also terrible.  Really terrible.  Paula and Kara laugh at him.  Mark is not happy.  Mark and Simon get in a stare down.  As he leaves, he tells the judges to be careful.  It sounds vaguely like a threat. 

Brent Keith is a cowboy looking dude, who sings some Bad Company.  He's got a slight bit of twang, with a good, powerful voice, especially in the chorus.  Simon didn't like the song choice, to which the other judges go crazy.  Kara bickers with Simon some more.  The judges seem a little stir crazy.  He eventually gets his golden ticket. 

A woman who looks like she's 40 years old is really terrible.  Another girl sounds like she's singing into a fan.  A guy called Mr. Zebra wears bizarre face paint.  A morbidly obese dances while singing MIchael Jackson and wearing a top hat.

Matt Giraud is a 23-year-old dueling piano player.  He's self taught.  I always thought we'd see a dueling piano player.  Seems like a cool guy.  He sounds a bit like a boy band singer, but with more soul.  I like this guy.  Paula calls it different, I agree.  Kara likes her.  He's going to Hollywood.  This guy could be big in Hollywood. 

Ross Plavsic is up next.  He is a supernerd with awful teeth.  He's a huge nerd.  He wears a suit.  The man says he's been studying how to sing opera for the last few years.  I can't stand this guy.  He sings some terrible opera song.  He ends up drinking some of Paula's water, you know, because he has a scratchy throat. 

Ten Lousiville contestants made it to Hollywood on day one.

Time for Day 2, y'all.  First contestant of the day is Alexis Grace.  She's from Memphis, plays the guitar, and she had a baby when she was 19.  Her baby daddy is away at military school right now.  She sings "Dr. Feelgood" by Aretha.  She's got a big, sassy voice, and she goes nuts from the beginning.  Not bad.  Not great, not subtle, but pretty good.  The judges give her a bunch of yeses.  She's through.  Ha - Kara tells her to go make love to her fiance. 

Aaron Williamson is guy with a lot of energy.  He yells a lot.  He's loud.  He's representin' Louisville, he says.  He sings some Creedence.  He's terrible, but he sings really, really loud.  He's a screamer.  The judges are a little loopy at this point and yell with him.  Seacrest even walks in, because he was hearing a lot of noises.   He gets the bad news, and then he leaves.

Rebecca Garcia is next.  Earlier in the day, she was interviewed by a local news station.  Paula tells her that she saw her on the news earlier that day.  She sings Carrie Underwood.  She is terrible.  But, on a positive note, Rebecca is very tall.  She also wears a black glove.  Kara calls her out, thinking this was a joke.  Either it wasn't, or Rebecca is really good actress.  She cries, and then she leaves.

We see a montage of a few good singers, though we gloss over them quite quickly.  Four people got golden tickets.

The last singer of the night is Leneshe Young.  She's 18, from Cincinnati, and grew up with nothing.  They were basically homeless growing up.   She sings a cong that she wrote herself, called "Natty."  That would usually be a terrible song, but the song's good and she's a good singer.  Leneshe is also confident, got an attitude, I like her.  And, so do the judges. 

That's it for Louisville.  19 people made it through to Hollywood. 


-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of FOX)