The biggest night of television is here, the 64th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards! I'll be here all night for three hours of exciting awards, speeches that get cut off and host Jimmy Kimmel.

2012 Creative Arts Emmy Winners>>

On the Drama side, it's a night of total greatness. Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones and Homeland are the four best dramas on TV and they all have multiple nominations.

On the Comedy side, there are massive hits like Modern Family and The Big Bang Theory against edgy cult hits like Louie and Girls.

Jimmy Kimmel Opening

Jimmy Kimmel getting repeatedly punched in the women's bathroom was pretty funny. And naked Lena Dunham eating cake in a bathroom stall  is about a million times funnier than anything I saw on Girls all season.

Kimmel's monologue was fearless and funny. He took aim at noted Republican Kelsey Grammer not showing up, the failed horse-racing drama Luck (don't eat the sliders at the HBO after party) and the fact that Jon Hamm will probably not win again. Kudos to him for not changing up his style for the Emmys and for not overstaying his welcome.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
The winner is...ERIC STONESTREET, MODERN FAMILY

Well, I guess the Emmys aren't going to spread the Modern Family love as Stonestreet won two years ago. His speech is sweet as he sends lots of love to his TV partner Jesse Tyler Ferguson.
 
Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series
The winner is..."PREGNANT," LOUIE

Hooray for Louis C.K.! I'm not sure if it's the funniest episode of the nominees, but he's certainly the funniest person nominated.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
The winner is...JULIE BOWEN, MODERN FAMILY

Wow, another repeat Modern Family winner. She certainly deserves it, but I'm never a fan of repeat winners. Although hearing her say "nipple covers" multiple times is funny, and I like that she gives a shout-out to co-star Sofia Vergara the same way Stonestreet gave support to his non-Emmy-winning co-star. This marks the show's 14th Emmy win in three seasons, which is putting it on pace to beat Frasier's 37 total wins during its run, if Modern Family can keep it up for another six seasons.

Outstanding Directing in a Comedy Series
The winner is..."BABY ON BOARD," MODERN FAMILY

Make that 15 Emmys for Modern Family. This is an embarrassment of riches. That's followed by an unbelievably funny segment behind the scenes of Modern Family where the little actress who plays Lily is a monster who insults everyone. That just proves that this show really does deserve all these awards.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
The winner is...JON CRYER, TWO AND A HALF MEN

NO! This is just wrong on every conceivable level. At least he acknowledges this calamity. "This is crazy," he said. Yes, yes it is. This is a black mark on the Emmys and might single-handedly ruin this entire ceremony. Seriously, he doesn't even deserve to be nominated alongside the likes of Louis C.K., Don Cheadle, Alec Baldwin, Jim Parsons and Larry David. It's even worse than when Cryer won the Supporting Actor Emmy, beating Neil Patrick Harris for How I Met Your Mother. How can Emmy voters be this stupid?

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
The winner is...JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS, VEEP

She starts reading Amy Poehler's acceptance speech and then she has to stop and swap her piece of paper with Poehler's. Now that's a great way to recognize the woman who truly deserved to win this award in a clever way. But kudos to Julia who has won for three different shows: Veep, Seinfeld and The New Adventures of Old Christine.


Outstanding Reality Competition Program
The winner is...THE AMAZING RACE

Yawn. This show has won this award 9 out of 10 times. I keep hoping for another Top Chef-style upset.

Outstanding Reality Host
The winner is...TOM BERGERON, DANCING WITH THE STARS

Good for him. Now that Jeff Probst is out of the running, someone else gets a shot. He's pretty funny and charming and he certainly does a lot of hard work.


Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
The winner is...AARON PAUL, BREAKING BAD

He was great, but he already won once before, and the wrong guy from Breaking Bad won. Giancarlo Esposito so deserved this and Paul knows it. Paul seems to let a big spoiler slip that an alternate plan was to kill his character off.

Outstanding Writing in a Drama Series
The winner is..."PILOT," HOMELAND

Good for them, besting three different Mad Men scripts.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
The winner is...MAGGIE SMITH, DOWNTON ABBEY

Meh. At least she's not there for a speech. The epic acting snubbing of Mad Men continues with the overlooked Christina Hendricks. Seriously, the show has NEVER won an Emmy for acting.

Outstanding Directing in a Drama Series
The winner is..."TO THE LOST," BOARDWALK EMPIRE

Another no-show. Good for Tim Van Patten. This is his eighth time being nominated as a director, but only his first Emmy win. It's a shame he didn't show up for it. Amazingly, this is the show's 12th Emmy win in just two seasons, although 11 of them came at the Creative Arts Emmys.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
The winner is...DAMIAN LEWIS, HOMELAND

Wow, this is certainly a pleasant surprise since he's the first first-time Emmy winner among all the acting winners. This also makes the top race more interesting, since Homeland might have a shot to beat Mad Men since it clearly has some momentum.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
The winner is...CLAIRE DANES, HOMELAND

This was the biggest "No Duh" of the night and she definitely deserved it. Clearly Homeland is the drama equivalent of Modern Family tonight. Her speech rocks as she is clearly in love with everyone involved on this show. "Mandy Patinkin, holla!" How can you not love her?


Outstanding Writing in a Variety Special
The winner is...LOUIS C.K.: LIVE AT THE BEACON THEATRE

Wow, two writing Emmys for Louis C.K. in one night. Awesome.

Outstanding Directing in a Variety Special
The winner is...THE 65TH ANNUAL TONY AWARDS

Presenter Ricky Gervais almost saved the total boringness of this award by interrupting himself reading the nominees to give Louis C.K.  a shout-out, saying Louis would be the best comedian in the world if he won. He didn't, so he's only the second best (behind Gervais, of course).

Outstanding Variety Series
The winner is...THE DAILY SHOW

That makes 10 wins in a row in this category. Seriously. One straight decade of Variety Series dominance. Jon Stewart honors everyone else in the category and ends with a bit of cursing about how predictable these awards are.


Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie
The winner is...JESSICA LANGE, AMERICAN HORROR STORY

This was almost as predictable as Claire Danes winning for Homeland. Ironically, she should probably trade Emmys with Maggie Smith, because American Horror Story is actually a Drama Series while Downton Abbey is actually a Miniseries.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie
The winner is...TOM BERENGER, HATFIELDS AND MCCOYS

Hey, it's the guy from Major League! Sorry, that's all I know because I'm one of the only people who didn't see this miniseries. Thank God the Emmys are combining the lead and supporting acting awards for miniseries and TV movies into single categories next year.

Outstanding Writing in a Miniseries or TV Movie
The winner is...GAME CHANGE

Yay, Jonathan from Buffy (aka Danny Strong) won his first Emmy! And he dedicated it to his mom, who passed away this year. So sweet.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie
The winner is...JULIANNE MOORE, GAME CHANGE

Sarah Palin finally wins something! And wow, another yellow dress. Yellow seems to be the color of the night since Julie Bowen and Claire Danes also had yellow dresses.

Outstanding Directing in a Miniseries or TV Movie
The winner is...GAME CHANGE

Yawn. They really need to move these Miniseries and TV Movie categories to the Creative Arts Emmys.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie
The winner is...KEVIN COSTNER, HATFIELDS AND MCCOYS

Hey, it's the guy from Field of Dreams! I find it curious that both Emmy winners from this miniseries are famous for baseball movies.


Outstanding Miniseries or TV Movie
The winner is...GAME CHANGE

Four wins tonight, not too bad. I look forward to the Emmy-winning Mitt Romney TV movie in two or three years on HBO.

Outstanding Drama Series
The winner is...HOMELAND

Wow, Mad Men has finally been dethroned. This show clearly had the momentum tonight, and it certainly deserves the win. It's the first time Showtime has ever won an Emmy for Outstanding Drama or Comedy Series, which is a huge victory for the network that has long been perceived as HBO's little brother. Six Emmys, including the top prize, is a big win for President Barack Obama's favorite TV show. I wonder if his seal of approval had anything to do with it..

Outstanding Comedy Series
The winner is...MODERN FAMILY

And so a very predictable night ends with a very predictable outcome. Modern Family wins its third Emmy in a row (which 30 Rock did the three years beforehand). This marks 16 Emmys in three years, which is insane.


So thus ends the 2012 Emmy Awards (on time). Most of the night was incredibly predictable with previous winners winning again. The few surprises were good (Homeland's domination) and very, very bad (Jon Cryer). The clear story, however, is Homeland and Modern Family, each picking up four trophies tonight and dominating the show from start to finish.


(Image courtesy of ABC)