Previously on A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila: Dani was awesome, and Tila Tequila surprised us all by refusing to let Brandi back into the house. Domenico, the last entertaining person in the house, was kicked out so Tila Tequila could visit the families of the four remaining daters.

Bags are being packed, and everyone is pretty upbeat about the opportunity to take Tila Tequila home.  For the men, Bobby is worried that his family isn't quite as affluent as Ryan's (who, as you'll learn in this column, grew up in my hometown of Flemington, New Jersey, which is indeed quite affluent).   Dani is stoked to show off her hot possible girlfriend to her firefighter buddies.

First up is Bobby, from Worcester, New York, a small town where he takes her bowling.  He's all ashamed that he's from a "poor" town, which actually means average, slightly higher than middle class.  He drives her out to his house in "the boonies."  He introduces her to his parents, step-parents and his little brother.  She drops the bisexual bomb, and they all handle it like normal people would: slightly awkward, but relatively nonchalant.

Tila spends dinner flirting with Bobby's little brother.  She drops whipped cream on her breast and half-jokingly asks him to clean it off.  He is SOOOOOOO uncomfortable.  Bobby's mom first says her son will always love her more than his girlfriend, then she gets a bit drunk and is not impressed with Tila Tequila.  They patch things up, bonding over the fact that they both enjoy alcohol.

Amanda is waiting in Pacific City, Oregon.  It's on the ocean, and the two go to the beach to fly kites for their special date.  Amanda's sob story is that she was heavily into drugs as a teenager, which is similar to Tila's own past.  They have a picnic with Amanda's dad and step-mom, and they don't care about the bisexual thing.  Hey, did you think the parents of an open lesbian would be weirded out?  Tila thinks Amanda's parents are awesome.  Amanda's dad thinks Tila is a little crazy and wild for his daughter.

After the picnic, they go to meet Amanda's six special needs adopted brothers and sisters.  Tila gets them all a box of cookies, and she's fitting in as well as you can expect.  It's definitely a somewhat awkward situation, but Tila Tequila shines and feels very comfortable in this house.

Ryan is chilling in Trenton, New Jersey where his special date is in a Thai restaurant with two of Ryan's friends, who are all hopelessly in love with the beautiful chick he brought in.  Ryan drops the bomb that his family is quite rich, as his father owns a multi-millionaire dollar business.  They drive to his parents' house, which is in Flemington.  F-Town!  Indeed, the house is exactly what I expected from my hometown, big and beautiful and just like almost every other house in every new development.

When Tila walks in, she notices Ryan's sister and is in love.  Ryan tells his parents she's bisexual, and his mom felt like she was going to throw up.  Ah Hunterdon County, home of rich white conservatives who are rich enough live in nice houses, but not quite rich enough to actually live in New York City.  At dinner, Tila talks about how hot Ryan's dad and sister are.  Everyone is really uncomfortable.  Tila says grace, and thanks God for Ryan's super-hot body and his super-hot family.  Yikes!  Tila Tequila is talking about nipples, and Ryan's parents are pretty much as good-natured as you can be when someone who offends your values comes over with a camera crew.  Ryan and Tila leave the dinner table, and he takes her up to his room to throw her on the bed for a little quickie make-out session.

Finally, Dani is in Deerfield, Florida.  Tila visits the fire house she works at.  Tila loves herself some firefighters, and the first thing she wants to find is the pole, so she can do a little dance.  They have a big dinner, and the firefighters are obviously a true second family, because they're as invested in Dani's life as a real family would be.  They're also very protective, and inform Tila that being with Dani is an honor.

Dani arrives at her family's house, and her cousin Michael is the only one who immediately recognizes Tila Tequila.  This is the first time Dani speaks to grandma Pat openly about being gay.  Tila talks openly about sex and grandma is quite into it.  Tila does a lap dance for the grandma, and Pat asks her to "Put that little butt on these knees."  Best line ever.  Then things get serious, and Dani's mom asks what Tila can bring for her daughter.  I realize everyone watching loves Dani, but I don't think I expected everyone in her family and work to be so invested in her well-being,  Dani is beloved by all.  And grandma Pat is officially the coolest old lady ever.

Now that the trips are over, the four daters return to the house.  The final four tell their stories, and Ryan is way too nice in saying that his parents were generally accepting.  Everyone is amused by the grandma lap dance.  Amanda is pleased that her visit seemed to go the best.  I realize it won't happen because the show is about bisexuality, but based on those visits, Amanda and Dani are obviously the two best choices, and the only way Bobby has a chance to win is if Tila Tequila is one of those faux bisexuals who, deep down inside, is really a straight girl just rebelling a little bit.

A Shot at Love Elimination Time!  Ryan is 100 percent confident, but the women are overall more sure than the guys.  Tonight is a little different, because only one person is going home.  Bobby gets the first key. Dani gets the second one, and we all breathe a sigh of relief.  Dani really is about 30 times awesomer than everyone else on this show combined.  Amanda gets the last key, and as anyone could tell from this episode, Ryan is going home.  Aw, poor F-Town boy.  Tila doesn't fit into his pre-fab life, and it takes more than a super-hot family to win Tila Tequila over.  She saw through his parents and how conservative his background is, which doesn't mesh with her lifestyle.

On the next episode of A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila: the final three head to Cancun for plenty of making out, and Amanda turns on Dani, calling her promiscuous.


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of MTV)