Do you like reality dating shows, but wish there was a lot more bisexuality?  Then A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila is the show for you!  The openly bisexual MySpace phenom Tila Tequila is playing the bachelorette to 16 straight guys and 16 lesbians.  I'm sure this will be a respectful documentary exploring important issues of modern human sexuality.

She's eager to start the experiment, and when the men roll up, they began chanting her name and basically behaving like yahoos.  Instantly I realize some of these guys are total losers based on their professions.  Lance is a professional clown and Mike B. is a pizza delivery guy who sleeps on his parents' couch.  An Italian dude named Domenico just wants to have sex with her, then Eddie sings her a crappy original song and says he's a virgin.

The trend seems to be a whole lot of musicians and performers, and I can only assume they're not just looking for love, but their big break: singers, musicians, a radio personality, a hip hop dancer, a wrestler, a clown, a fitness model and a spokesmodel, which I did not know was a career.  Domenico cooks her a plate of spaghetti and does the Lady and the Tramp move.  OK, that dude has some skills and is my initial favorite.  Then he talks about the vibration between his legs.  He also tries to get the other guys to admit they'd sleep with another dude for $10 million.

Marcus is talking smack about Domenico, and Ashley, the ridiculous Southerner, gets upset.  They yell at each other, and I think this is a deleted scene from The Real World.  Back with Tila, Greg gives her a massage and, in the process, tries to slip her out of her dress.  Michael B. gives her a pillow with his face on it.

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila First Male Elimination Time!  Right away, five of these guys are going home, which is good since 32 contestants is way too many for a dating show.  Radio host Ben gets the boot, as does some guy named Rami who tried to give her a frog.  Drummer and pink jacket aficianado Michael R. is sent home, as is clown Lance.  Freaky massage guy Greg is the final eliminated dude.

Ryan is still around!  In the interest of full disclosure, the Jersey oil executive, according to his bio, is from my hometown of Flemington, New Jersey, and while I don't recognize him, he seems kind of familiar and I'm pretty sure I went to high school with him.  So even if he turns out to be a huge loser, I have no choice but to remain loyal.

Now it's lesbian time.  They're all super excited that Tila plays for their team, and Ashli is stoked that they're a part of a groundbreaking show starring lesbians.  At the very least, the show is going to break down stereotypes, because without sounding too bigoted, very few of the chicks look like stereotypical lesbians.  Keasha is crazy, drunk and pretty awesome, complete with her own catch phrase: "Hey girl, hey!" Tila reflects on the wonderful sensuality and softness of women with Rebecca when Keasha stumbles in.  Thirty minutes in, and we get our first girl on girl kiss.  The amazing part about this show is that it hits all key demographics: men and women, straight or gay.  Well, maybe not gay men, but Domenico was trying to hook them in.

The conversation turns to what the ladies like in the bedroom, and when Vanessa admits she likes to be dominated, it's so hot that Tila makes out with her right in front of another girl, who Tila calls "whats-her-face."  That girl gets the cold shoulder and even Tila admits that she acted like a total douchebag.

All the ladies brought a sexy outfit to impress Tila.  We get a quick montage: Catholic school girl, nurse, angel, and a cat ("Let me show you what a real p**** looks like").  French maid, soldier, girl scout, dominatrix and a construction worker (with caution tape covering her breasts).  Then we get a parade of the less than stellar choices: plumber, taxi girl, a boring orange bikini, and a butch chick dressed like Hugh Hefner.  Another butch lesbian, Dani, is dressed like a firefighter, her actual profession, and says her co-workers are gonna give her hell when she gets back.  She's pretty awesome.  Then we get two more winners: a girl whose bikini is so small, blurring is required, and Krystal, showing off her patriotism.

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila First Female Elimination Time!  Still in their sexy outfits, five girls are eliminated.  Orange girl Scout is out, as is Ellie the plumber (aka "whats-her-face").  Soldier Chaos (who Tila called a butter face) gets the boot, as does taxi driver Brenda.  The final girl to go, sadly, is Keasha.  Hey girl, hey!  Bye girl, bye!

Tila invites everyone over for a pool party the next morning to reveal the big bisexual twist.  The men show up first, and Domenico, in true European fashion, is in an Italian flag speedo.  She sits them down and tells them she has a secret she hasn't even told her parents.  The ladies come in, and the guys are kind of excited, but the girls are upset that men are in the house.  She drops the bisexual bomb, and we don't even get the reaction, just a dramatic score.  Next week, we discover how the men and women react to Tila Tequila being a bisexual.


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of MTV)