The wonderfully ridiculous 90210 is back with a new executive producer running the show, and it's time for college. But first, the kids have to survive the summer before college. The season 4 premiere shows that everyone had a pretty awful summer. Naomi broke up with Max after learning her pregnancy was a false positive, Annie loses her money and dumps Liam, Silver and Navid are stuck with a bratty kid to take care of, Dixon drops out of college before it even starts and there's a hot new cowboy named Austin who gets off to a very good start by never wearing a shirt and then a very bad finish by sleeping with the worst possible girl he could choose.

Let's see how the 90210 gang spent the last day of summer.

Naomi: Remember how last season ended with her being pregnant? It turns out the new showrunner didn't like that, so the new season opens with Naomi learning the test was a false positive and she's not really preggers. Max is ecstatic, which ends their relationship, because the new showrunner also doesn't want the star of the show dating a nerd when there are hot, shirtless cowboy dudes hanging around.

To beef up her college visibility, she buys a ridiculously nice house instead of living in a dorm, because nothing says Big Girl on Campus like someone who lives off campus. She lets Annie and newlyweds Ivy and Raj stay with her, and they're happy to find a pot garden in the back. It belongs to the rich former owner's hot cowboy son Austin (who owns a pet pig, very few shirts and who I suspect has a cowboy hat surgically attached to his scalp since he wears it in every single scene).

Naomi throws her mega party and the cops come to bust her for not having valid valet parking licenses or some such nonsense. I guess all of the underage drinking is perfectly acceptable. What isn't OK is Naomi freaking out over the cops and throwing all the pot plants onto her bonfire. She gets arrested, but her real problem is that she's still sad about not being pregnant and losing Max.


Annie: She was supposed to inherit millions from that old movie star, but the woman's family contests the will (because a senile old lady leaving millions to a teenage girl she'd only known for a week is crazy). This means Annie has to defer going to Carnegie Mellon for a bit, because apparently you're allowed to do that the day before you start college in the weird, alternate universe where this show takes place. You're also allowed to magically enroll at California University for a semester on the first day of school, because things like rules don't exist.


Liam: He returns from his summer of fishing, finds Annie and slams a diamond ring on the hood of her car. It's not the most romantic proposal ever and she declines, so he gets a tuxedo, rose peals, fireworks and a string quartet to do it right, but she still says no, probably because she met a cute guy at college named Jeremy. A heartbroken Liam gets drunk and buys a beachfront bar with his summer fishing money. I guess in Beverly Hills an 18-year-old boy is legally allowed to buy a bar.


Dixon: Navid was angry at him over the summer and forged Dixon's college hosing forms to say that Dixon was a girl. As a result, he is not allowed to live on campus because there are no dorms available. The fact that this makes absolutely no sense is irrelevant since Dixon decides not to go to college anyway, because he wants to focus on his music career.

Instead of going to college, Dixon gets an awesome beach apartment where his roommate is hot cowboy Austin, whose super rich parents canceled his South American year off after Naomi exposed his pot garden. The duo (who should now and forever be called Hicks and Dix since he's a hillbilly and "Dix" is his unflattering nickname for Dixon) attend Naomi's party for some more grade school style interactions where Naomi acts like she hates Austin, but we all know she's going to be tapping that by the third episode.


Navid and Silver: They're living together, but get an unexpected roommate when Navid's high school senior sister Leila moves in. In other words, Navid and Silver can say goodbye to their sex-having days. Leila is a treasure trove of plot contrivances, as she's a bad girl who drinks, parties and runs away from home.


Adrianna: She goes to Africa for the summer to learn to be a better person. You might think it's hard to redeem yourself in a single summer for swapping out a bipolar girl's meds and trying to steal her boyfriend, but all Annie got for killing a guy in a hit-and-run accident was a summer of house arrest, so I think the lesson is that betrayal is worse than murder. Silver explains that she will never forgive Adrianna, but luckily for Adrianna, hot cowboy Austin doesn't know about her baggage so he takes her home and sleeps with her. Sadly, it seems Adrianna stole Austin's one and only shirt, so I guess he'll have to remain shirtless and/or naked for the rest of the season.


Teddy: Trevor Donovan is demoted to a guest star this season, so his "coming out" storyline is even less important than ever. Silver finally talks him into telling his dad he's gay, but Teddy chickens out and does it in a voicemail before flying off to God knows where.


This begins the wild fourth season of 90210. It felt a lot like the new showrunner hit the reset button on everything, starting from scratch by breaking up two of the happy couples and introducing new hot guys for the ladies to drool over. If the a marijuana bonfire and a drunken bar purchase is how the season starts, I can only imagine how crazy college is going to be.


(Image courtesy of the CW)