This week on 90210
, the gang throws a benefit concert to raise
money for Raj's cancer bills, Dixon loses his mind and Lian and Annie
both sell their bodies. Here are my six questions for this episode.
How Much Money Can a Benefit Concert Raise?
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Raj's mysterious, experimental cancer treatment costs more than his parents could make in several years, so naturally one benefit concert will raise enough money to cover it. I'm no mathematician (oh wait, I sort of am since I majored in it in college), but after the cost of the stage and everything else, they couldn't have earned enough money even if tickets cost $1,000 per person. Luckily, one super rich donor shows up so they can ignore the implausibility of it all.Does Magic Really Beat Idol?
It turns out there are only two acts performing at the benefit concert. The first is Austin's cousin Sally (who he pretends is his new girlfriend just to make Naomi jealous), and she's played by American Idol
finalist Kellie Pickler. She sings a great country song. Then Naomi and Max do a little magic show with pyrotechnics and bubbles, and in spite of the fact that the trick itself is physically impossible, the lame special effects win out because the benefit concert (where the prize is a trip to a tropical island) is judged solely on who Silver thinks gets the most applause. Despite the victory, Naomi actually loses because Austin's plan works and Max breaks up with her because she's obviously not over her hot cowboy fling.Is Annie a Prostitute?
To make some money Annie goes on another sexless escorting gig with a guy named Patrick, only this one seems to involve a little more sex than she's used to. But in the end, she violates the first rule of escorting (don't date a John) by dating him for real, without money exchanging hands. I don't mind that, but what really disturbs me is the fact that the guy looks like he's in his mid-30s (because the actor actually is in his mid-30s) and he's now dating an 18-year-old college student. To make things even more complicated, Patrick makes a generous donation to Raj's benefit that helps them cover the expenses, so I guess Annie really is a prostitute now.Is Dixon So Excited and So Scared?
In a plotline that I suspect is lifted directly from Saved by the Bell
's infamous "Jessie's Song" episode, Dixon's music career falters because of his addiction to ADHD medication, and Adrianna plays the Zack Morris role and calls him out on it. I'm really hoping for a meltdown half as good as Elizabeth Berkley's. Can Liam Stay in One Storyline for More Than 3 Episodes?
We're only at the sixth episode of season 4, and so far Liam has proposed to Annie (twice), bought a bar, shacked up with a presumably widowed woman and now he's becoming a male model after the success of his soft-core commercial. Maybe it's Liam who needs the ADHD medication instead of Dixon since he keeps bouncing from one thing to another. Also, it turns out "male modeling" is code for a bunch of hot guys in their underwear dancing around a car to sell watches.
Despite not taking off his pants like everyone else, Liam still gets $10,000 for a giant billboard of his naked torso in the middle of the city. It's good money, but I'm sure in three episodes he'll be going to culinary school to become a pastry chef or something else completely different.Are Beverly Hills Cops Really This Lazy?
Navid ends his involvement in the car theft ring with his uncle, but after his uncle responds with a threat against Silver, Navid runs to the police. Since he has no proof, the lady cop's only solution is for this 18-year-old kid to go undercover in his uncle's operation to get the evidence they need to put him away. Isn't that their job?
Next week on 90210
's Halloween episode: Handcuffs, leather and Perez Hilton! I'm already terrified, but mostly because of that last one and his God-awful suit.(Image courtesy of the CW)