Sorry "Elvis is alive" conspiracy theorists, Im pretty sure last nights American Idol performance show proved once and for all, The King is dead. Because even if Elvis had stayed silent all these years in some remote Swiss chalet, surely he would have broken his cover and sent out an all points bulletin decrying last nights dreadfully boring interpretations of his songs. I spent a lot of time since last night wondering how the Top 9 performed Elvis with no energy, but then I realized this is the same group who performed The Rolling Stones with no rock and "Soul Week" with no soul. Its getting high time we just come out and say it: Worst. Season. Ever.
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