This week on The Bachelor, one girl does her best impression of a billy goat, a few ladies draw short straws and wind up in a sad roller derby spectacle and one gets bounced from the mansion on date night, but at least she gets a sparkly parting gift.

If princesses and toddlers wear tiaras, bitches wear Tierras. As Sean Lowe whittles down his batch of potential suitors from 13 to 11, we‘re promised a healthy dose of tears, anger and outrage from the recipient of the earliest rose ever, who also may be the only Bachelor contestant to ever intentionally fall down the stairs.

Now that the ladies of The Bachelor are getting comfortable, they‘re letting their true colors shine.

Backstabbing. BAM! A tumble down the stairs. SPLAAT! A world record makeout session. WHACK! Volleyball catfights.

ABC describes next week’s episode of The Bachelor airing Monday, January 21 at 8pm: "Sean surprises a group of women with what first seems like a delightful outing on a sun splashed California beach.

I‘m not quite sure how you spell "Rawwrrrr" (the sound a cat makes when you accidentally step on it), but it‘s apparently never too early for the claws to come out on The Bachelor.

Photos are from The Bachelor season 17 week 2 starring Sean Lowe. This week, ABC tells us, "Thirteen women join Sean at a sprawling Beverly Hills estate for the opportunity of a lifetime: The bachelorettes will compete in a photo shoot to see who will win a deal to appear on three Harlequin romance novel covers.

For better or worse, whether you love that you hate it or hate that you love it, The Bachelor is back for its 17th season, or the 738th overall if you count The Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad.